S4E6: The Dyslexic Brain - Communication, Assumptions, and Self-Awareness

Join us as we dive into the intricacies of living with dyslexia. This episode, airing during Dyslexia Awareness Month, explores the daily challenges dyslexic people face, from misinterpreting text messages and emails to the exhaustion of having to work harder to comprehend information. We discuss the importance of self-awareness and how to navigate assumptions in relationships and the workplace. We also touch on the sensitive topic of disclosing dyslexia to employers and the societal need for better communication, regardless of learning differences.

 

Chapters:
0:00 Welcome

0:32 Communication Challenges

1:51 Dyslexia and Exhaustion

3:00 Self-Awareness and Mistakes

3:45 Dyslexia in the Workplace

7:08 The Power of Questions

15:37 Dyslexia Statistics

17:18 The Hereditary Factor

20:59 Getting Tested

22:44 Closing Remarks

 

Transcript:

 

00:00:06:23 - 00:00:32:11

Unknown

Welcome back to word blindness. Dyslexia exposed. I'm Juliet. I'm here with my co-host, Brant. So, Phil, how are you? Which is same on the Monday as I already said, and I didn't I. Did I say another one? Oh, yeah. They know another day that's supporting your work. We're here. We're here swimming. We're Henry boots. I always I like the straw.

 

00:00:32:13 - 00:01:05:23

Unknown

It's like you just have, like, the tip and you keep getting splashed in it and you're like, motherfucker. Okay. The cartoons a guy used in the old quicksand is an Indiana Jones. Oh, yeah. Just hold on, hold on. Yeah. So we're in October, as you heard last episode. It's gone really fast, but we're still in Dyslexia Awareness Month, and I, we you guys know that what we do is we kind of talk throughout the week, think of some ideas, think about things that have happened to us and are like, oh, this will be a great topic to talk about.

 

00:01:06:00 - 00:01:29:21

Unknown

So what we want to talk about today is still asking those questions that you did from last episodes, like really asking. But here's a thought. Do you have someone in your life that is dyslexic that has ever, like, read an email or read a text message wrong, and you're like, and maybe you're getting into an argument about it and it's like, that's not what I said, or that's not what I meant.

 

00:01:29:21 - 00:01:51:01

Unknown

And I just had a situation where I read a text and I thought it said something. I thought the person's name was actually the country they were from, and, was then corrected. No, that's not their name. That's where they live. But here. And I was like, oh my gosh. And then I went back and read it and was like, wow, okay, I can't believe I missed that.

 

00:01:51:03 - 00:02:20:04

Unknown

But thinking what I was doing, I wasn't sitting and paying attention. And especially the work that we do and the work that I do, I have to sit and really be focused and read it and then read it twice to make sure I understand. Do you have anything to add to this? I'll let you know. And that's why, you know, I say, you know, I had I remember one time, years ago, I was like, both kids were in high school.

 

00:02:20:04 - 00:02:37:18

Unknown

Can you tell me why am I dyslexic? Son goes to bed at nine. You know, 9 p.m. and my other, you know, I was a senior at junior college, and they were a couple years apart, and he says up to 2 a.m. and gets up. No problem. I'm like, well, that's how that's why we got to work so much harder.

 

00:02:37:21 - 00:03:00:05

Unknown

Yeah. You know, that's the exhaustion part of, of us and, I've done that hundreds and thousands of times. But you know what you did and, you know, I'm reading and listening for. Let me read that. What? What are you talking about? You know, I've I've always got to go because, that. Am I reading this right?

 

00:03:00:07 - 00:03:24:00

Unknown

You know, and I kind of found the funny word I use all the time. Does that make any sense? That makes sense. Right. Well, because I. Now, do you beat yourself up if you've, like, made a mistake or do you ever are like, fuck. No, not really. Because I do so often, but I, I cover myself with a funny joke somewhere along the line.

 

00:03:24:05 - 00:03:44:23

Unknown

You know, today I have to say, though, I do. I don't beat myself up, but I get, like, annoyed at myself every once in a while when she'll give me a look. Like, what? What are you talking about? What are you reading? Let me see that. Yeah, yeah. No, I she knows that too, because art shows you the kind of.

 

00:03:45:01 - 00:04:20:03

Unknown

You were not even close on that one. Right? I mean, so Dan and I just had this conversation, but we also had the conversation of, like, when you're an employee or if you have an employee. That's why it's like important to know. And that's what we always talk about. If you do have dyslexia, it's not bad to tell your employers, but you have to sometimes be a little bit more careful, like you have to be careful when you do it and it sucks, but it is like you have to do that because you're going to sometimes interpret things wrong or miss a word that a word that actually is the meaning of the whole paragraph

 

00:04:20:06 - 00:04:42:23

Unknown

or, you know, it's it, you know, that's a very touchy situation, right? You know, it's, you know, I was golfing, you know, all just reading and guys talking about dyslexia from the foundation. And he was the one that had a stutter, earlier, you know, he's like, I've been in the business of selling insurance, for like 33 years.

 

00:04:42:23 - 00:05:04:07

Unknown

He goes, I've never and ever heard anybody talk to, you know, the way you're talking about. My people are different. Like, I've got my way and that's the only way it works has been 33 years. So if you had a boss like that and come in and say you're, you know, you learn differently, that's, you know, as we know a foundation, you know, somebody obviously did an amazing article for us and wouldn't put it in there.

 

00:05:04:12 - 00:05:33:13

Unknown

You know, who was part putting it together wouldn't put it in there because they're afraid that their boss would find out. Right. And that's it is it's it's a touchy subject because I've been in all different aspects. I've been in the corporate world where I did not tell, and figured it out. And then I've been in the world where, you know, my employers are knowledgeable and have understanding of it, but there's still, you know, I've been reminded even in my current role, you have to slow down.

 

00:05:33:15 - 00:06:08:01

Unknown

You cannot do that the same. And you need to double check. And I'm like, it's I, I cannot be rushing and doing things. And it's such it's fucking annoying. So I guess I always have something, you know, three kids, there's always something. But it's such a reminder and I think sometimes those reminders and I want someone if you listening and you are dyslexic or if you're not to think about this like it is a reminder sometimes when we have these things kind of slam us in the face and it's like, shit, okay, what is the lesson?

 

00:06:08:01 - 00:06:28:05

Unknown

And we've talked about I love to I like to know why I sometimes do dissect a little too much. I'm very aware that I don't know if that's my woman ness, if that's my dyslexia, my 80, whatever it is I do, if there's a lesson I like to sometimes sit with that lesson and be like, okay, why? What is the bigger lesson?

 

00:06:28:05 - 00:06:46:00

Unknown

I'm supposed to be learning from it? And I have I have actually, the last number of years really have gotten good at some of these, these lessons. Like, okay, I see why this situation has happened and I need to be better in this if I want to continue to excel in my career or if I want to, you know, excel over here or in relationships.

 

00:06:46:02 - 00:07:07:22

Unknown

And so it's something to think about. And that's what we want to highlight this, you know, October again to if you have someone in your life that's dyslexic, double check. If you ever send a text or an email or you say something and it's really helpful for you to say, can you just explain to me what you think I said before you pop off?

 

00:07:08:03 - 00:07:26:21

Unknown

Now? Easier said than done. Trust me, I'm very aware of that. My husband and I have. There's been a few times, especially recently, where I'm like, no, this like what I don't understand. What does it like? What? And then I read it back and he's like, okay, can you read that again? Because that's not what I meant. And I know you're pissed, but just read it again.

 

00:07:26:21 - 00:07:51:02

Unknown

And then I read it again and I'm like, oh, I'm so, so sorry. Clearly, I wasn't in the headspace to receive that because I was already annoyed or pissed at something and then assumed it was how I was reading it off. Assumptions. That's right. Yeah. So if everything you had a long time. Yeah. Was I've worked that in the assumptions that, you know, you can't you can't assume anything.

 

00:07:51:02 - 00:08:17:13

Unknown

You know, you obviously make light of it. And you know, assumption is that especially for us assumption is death. And I think I'll put it more on us than them. I think we need to bear the weight of that more, when it comes to this conversation, because our brain is wired differently. So what we are assuming may not be.

 

00:08:17:15 - 00:08:46:13

Unknown

Right. To assume because how would they assume it that way? And you're talking about dyslexics versus non-disabled. You say us and them. Yeah. Yes. I a prime example of right there, right there. So as dyslexic, our brains are wired to answer what we're assuming, is going to happen eight out of ten times is probably going to be what's not going to happen to your non dyslexic.

 

00:08:46:15 - 00:09:21:05

Unknown

Really pretty tough to cross those past. So that's a prime example of what we're talking about right there. How how different is and how important it is for the self-awareness of ourselves. Now I'm talking also I'm talking about myself as a dyslexic person. But the self-awareness of knowing and also being okay with it, as I said, I sometimes will just be like, and it's not like I'm beating myself up, but I get frustrated because I'm like, I fucking was rushing and I read it wrong.

 

00:09:21:05 - 00:09:41:03

Unknown

And that is like, I need it's a reminder. Just pause and do it. And these are like, this is my reminder in life. Fucking pause. I it's it's it's everything. But it's really important. Only time won't work I guess. You know, that kind of falls in, you know, you're obviously kind of got your work category. You know, you got relation category.

 

00:09:41:05 - 00:10:08:06

Unknown

And in your kid category almost three different. You know, there are other important across the board. But it's if you're in one lane, stay in one work. Don't jump to 2 or 3 here. You know, easier said and done 100%. Right. Yeah. I it's just like yeah right. But it is it, it you know it's just.

 

00:10:08:08 - 00:10:25:16

Unknown

Yep. And you have to and then you know, we've talked about this a lot because I know, you know, there's times where. In the corporate world like I've said to you, I have to do it this way. And you're like, yeah, it's and not even not this job. But like we've talked about in the past where you're like, yeah, but that's what fucking sucks.

 

00:10:25:16 - 00:10:44:20

Unknown

Like it's like, shouldn't the employer have a little bit more knowledge? There's times that we have to own it. Like I remember in a situation where, when I first started with this company and my boss basically was like, yeah, that's hard for you, but you have to fucking figure it out. If you if you're going to excel, you have to figure it out.

 

00:10:44:20 - 00:11:02:14

Unknown

So you need to figure it out and it's not the other person's problem. Right. And that's true. And you have to be like, if I wasn't okay for the most part with how I learned and my dyslexia, that is a hard pill to swallow, right? Because it's like, then you don't you're like, oh, I don't want to fucking mess up or I don't want to do this.

 

00:11:02:14 - 00:11:27:00

Unknown

You have to be okay with messing up because you know, you're going to that's in life in general. But in and again, in these categories, it's really important to have the self-awareness. And that's why we have these conversations. That's why we come on and talk on this podcast about real life stuff, because it is important if you are dyslexic or you have someone in your life that's dyslexic, you know, a mother, a child, a dad, a child.

 

00:11:27:00 - 00:11:46:15

Unknown

If the parents don't have dyslexia and the child does and especially when a child is little like you have to. Hey, do you understand what I'm asking? Do you understand what I'm asking you to do before you get angry? Right? You know, we talk about the different steps. I mean, that's also attention deficit thing, right? So you can't give six steps and expect.

 

00:11:46:17 - 00:12:02:15

Unknown

No, you know, someone to fight. I still can't I know that. That's why it's like a directions I've reference now and many times because I'm like in hockey my drills are like one to like. Yes. So simple. Boring. I'll make a ball and I always throw it back on me. I'm like, my brain doesn't work. One, two, three.

 

00:12:02:17 - 00:12:31:19

Unknown

I'm already lost on three. So I use, I reference, you know, all the time and it's way of taking it off of, other kids. Right. Just on throwing off, throwing it on me. I'm not saying it's another way of saying nicely, but it's, it's a tough question. Yeah. I mean, but also in hockey or any sport, really, when someone's learning, they really should be doing one, two so they can get really good at it.

 

00:12:31:19 - 00:12:52:18

Unknown

I mean, but you put it on yourself because you do the kind of the self like where you're like, oh no, and make a joke about yourself when really it's the correct way to cut. Right? Yeah. That's a you buys me extra time around, you know, around with them. You know, that's a sneaky way to keep the, you know, keep them happy with our understanding what I'm trying to do because they don't you know, they don't get it.

 

00:12:52:22 - 00:13:23:09

Unknown

They don't get it. No. Right. You know again, orange shirt assumptions death. But really you kind of seeing when your brains are wired differently, you can assume they understand what we're asking or what we're needing. So the explanation I ask, is easier doing it that way. And really, if you think about even people that don't have different wired brains and emails like I know in the corporate world, thank goodness not mind but everything's done.

 

00:13:23:11 - 00:13:49:02

Unknown

Emails. Oh like the back missed a day of work. So come back with 250 emails right. And like going through that. And then if someone's rushing or they're not clear and you're just like, okay, think about how efficient a company could be if it was like a really quick if a boss send something out to a team and then checked in, hey, can everyone just like, respond to what they think I mean really quickly?

 

00:13:49:02 - 00:14:03:15

Unknown

Or can they just give me a call real quick, five minutes, just to make sure we're on the same page? Think about how much more efficient that would be than to have 5 or 6 people thinking different and going in a different direction, and then wasting two days on a different project because they didn't get what they were doing.

 

00:14:03:17 - 00:14:20:08

Unknown

Yes, it seems like it's silly because it might take time in the front to be like, okay, it's an extra ten minutes to make sure the whole team understands, but think about the bottom line. And in the end, if everyone knew that they were on the same page because everyone learns different. Some people are visual, some people are auditory.

 

00:14:20:08 - 00:14:45:04

Unknown

I mean, we talk about this all the time, whether you're dyslexic or not or have any of the five DS. And so as like just really in society, if you just were to check in, hey, do you understand what I'm trying to get across? How much time and energy we would waste on all different levels? And it's never going to check in without an understanding and goes back to yeah, that's right, ask right.

 

00:14:45:07 - 00:15:03:08

Unknown

Exactly. And then there's also the people that don't want to do it because then again, they feel silly or stupid and they're like, well, I think I understand what they're saying, but I don't want to seem dumb by asking because maybe it's, you know, me, maybe I'm being I'm dumb and I'm not understanding it, or we're always going to say that anyways, right?

 

00:15:03:10 - 00:15:37:04

Unknown

Yeah, yeah, we do. Yeah. Unfortunately, yes. Anything else that you want to bring light about? Dyslexia Awareness month. Oh, she asks that questions. You'll learn a lot, you know, asking those questions. It's just figuring out you're going to be okay. You know how many, how many people, such nonsense alone in this little journey that we're on when it comes to dyslexia, you know?

 

00:15:37:04 - 00:16:03:12

Unknown

And so it's asking, asking questions. And just listening to listening. And trying to have some understanding. So why don't we do a couple statistics? Because that's. I feel like as many times as we talk about things, I'll always have someone be like, oh my God, I didn't. I listened to all your podcasts, but you just sat there and I'm like, oh man, I feel like we say that all the time.

 

00:16:03:12 - 00:16:26:05

Unknown

And they and they just comprehend it, right? So that's the thing. There's so many times that people will listen and not comprehend. They'll take something from like, right, you listen to you watch a show, you watch a movie, you always pick up different things in it. So that's why there's times that we repeat ourselves, because it is. It's like statistics are obviously what the world all functions on.

 

00:16:26:07 - 00:16:45:22

Unknown

When you when you say 50% of people in person in the world are dyslexic. Yeah, that one usually stops them because that's what's seen, you turn on the news, it's nothing. Right? Nothing good. Right. It's always it's always bad, you know? Bad. Right. So, as much you hear the news is what keeps the world going.

 

00:16:45:22 - 00:17:18:13

Unknown

The news world, you know, most people are ending up in jail. You know, 50% of them could be out. You know, no one is. The 89% of suicide notes have dyslexic traits. It's quite a high number. Yeah. So. So 100%. 1 in 5 people have dyslexia, you know, I mean, I know that's that that's a big one, but it's the, the hereditary portion to that is, you know, cancers one and two, not all hereditary.

 

00:17:18:15 - 00:17:44:07

Unknown

The next, sir, 1 in 5 and hereditary. You know, we're obviously you're are speaking on autism. That's 133 I think you said for for girls and then I think it was 1 in 12 for boys. Now I didn't know that was a bigger fact. I believe so but I read somewhere that's non hereditary. Right. So and I'll be change hopefully going for that opens on her entry.

 

00:17:44:07 - 00:18:12:02

Unknown

So it's not being passed down like generation to generation like like us. Yep. I think another thing that always I go into more detail when I'm talking to someone is when they say, I know I heard it, it's hereditary and we don't know of anyone in our family because there are generations where it does skip, and especially the severity.

 

00:18:12:04 - 00:18:36:05

Unknown

I have my own theory. I feel like the more severe someone has it, the more it's going to be kind of in every generation. But I don't know that. That's just my theory. I feel like if it's a slight, like if it's on the the spectrum that we think of autism, but if it's on the scale, and it's maybe not severe, severe.

 

00:18:36:07 - 00:19:03:08

Unknown

It's not as I also have like a kind of a theory. Again, these are my own theories. So take them for what they are. I've heard that one before. Well, but if you think about it, when like if it's really, really strong, I think also the, how many DS you have, if you have 1D, maybe it's, it's not as so you've gone downhill from your, you know, your family, right.

 

00:19:03:10 - 00:19:26:01

Unknown

Meaning you know, I mean you're you're talking severity. Well right. Well so my dad though is is very severe. We don't know from we don't know who we would think it's his mom who was a model and stayed home. So we don't know. And she didn't she didn't talk about things. Right. Right. His dad definitely my dad's dad.

 

00:19:26:01 - 00:19:44:10

Unknown

We also are like he's pretty sure he was ADHD. He was very high functioning like you know always owned his own businesses, very high functioning that way. Right. But so that's the thing. But we know with my dad and then my sister, my older sister, her, you know, dyslexia is more severe than mine was. But my dyscalculia is more severe.

 

00:19:44:10 - 00:20:06:17

Unknown

But dyscalculia wasn't. It was just I did girl math right. It was. I was told that were you just overall find second graders when your kids have kids right. If that if that you know I know if my theory came true because that's the thing. So like my sister Megan, so her she has 1 or 2 second ones.

 

00:20:06:23 - 00:20:31:13

Unknown

Not sure but or is dyslexic but then they have a two that are just graphics. So the dysgraphia is an interesting one because now all all three of my kids have dysgraphia. Montgomery very severe, the other two less severe. So the mechanics of dysgraphia with him are more severe. I didn't realize until I'm like, oh my God, I'm totally this graphic.

 

00:20:31:13 - 00:20:59:16

Unknown

But again, that wasn't kind of diagnosed when I was getting diagnosed. And it was just really like a reading disorder in ADHD. Right? And then dyslexia a little bit later. So I yeah, I don't know. But a lot of people will say, well, no, it's not I don't know anyone in my family that had it. And then I talk about the lefts and rights and the flipping the B's and DS or like very subtle things and they're like, oh wait, I really struggle with laughs and right, like really struggle.

 

00:20:59:16 - 00:21:22:05

Unknown

And I'm like, okay, well what else did you struggle in? And then they break down school and they're like, oh, I guess this I'm not a really good speller. So that was always really hard for me. And I'm like, yeah, that's you got to dive in there because. And then the other question we get is, okay, I suspect my child possibly has it.

 

00:21:22:05 - 00:21:46:07

Unknown

We're always like, go outside the school to get tested. Don't do it in the school. And then I do have a lot of, people recently about getting your kid tested older. And I do want to touch on that because we've touched a little bit on that. But the fact that it's a blueprint, like you always say, and as class and school gets harder, that's what came up with my two that weren't struggling because they figured it out really early.

 

00:21:46:09 - 00:22:01:01

Unknown

Yeah. But when they got to harder classes, they started putting more work in. And I was like, why are we working so hard? What's going on? And then it was like, oh, wait, you what do you mean you flip your BS days or doing driving test? Why did you just pause there? Well, because I get confused with my left and right.

 

00:22:01:01 - 00:22:29:11

Unknown

What do you mean you get fucking confused with your left and right. Why did I know this? You know, so it's not exactly exactly. She going crazy? Yeah, we're almost ready. Danziger. I wasn't saying she's ready for us to be. She's like, okay, enough that I'm not speaking. All right. So that is, I think if everyone just kind of takes those, into their lives and just thinks about it, they're they can make some changes.

 

00:22:29:11 - 00:22:44:12

Unknown

And people, the little changes go a long ways. Exactly. A long, long ways. All right. Well, thank you guys again for joining another episode of Dyslexia exposed. And you know what to do. Like rate review and share and.