S5E1: Mastering Education Advocacy for Kids with Learning Differences

In this episode, Juliet Hahn and Brent discuss navigating the complexities of education for children with learning differences, emphasizing the importance of advocacy, understanding the five Ds, and effective communication with teachers.

 

Chapters

 

00:00 Introduction and Technical Issues

01:11 Navigating School Anxiety and IEPs

03:28 Understanding Family Dynamics and Learning Styles

05:47 The Challenges of School Systems

09:00 The Importance of Proactive Parenting

11:11 Effective Communication with Teachers

15:24 Educating Teachers on Learning Differences

17:57 The Need for Regular Check-ins

22:01 Encouraging Self-Advocacy in Children

 

Transcript

 

00:00:10:01 - 00:00:19:14

Unknown

we're in season five, which is just awesome. We're also in the start of school, which like the anxiety, it does not feel good.

 

00:00:19:16 - 00:00:36:14

Unknown

Like even just thinking about it. There's so much now with 500 fours and IEPs now that I also have, you know, in the beginning I was like, oh, I just have one now. I don't have to worry about any of it. And then, you know, quickly, we have two, three.

 

00:00:36:16 - 00:00:47:10

Unknown

Know what I'm saying. Like two. And then I was like, okay, I had to do the three for a dollar. I loved that candy.

 

00:00:47:12 - 00:00:52:19

Unknown

Well.

 

00:00:52:21 - 00:00:58:05

Unknown

I think actually our brains are the best in the house.

 

00:00:58:07 - 00:01:12:14

Unknown

I

 

00:01:12:16 - 00:01:35:19

Unknown

Right. So it is a house of five days. Yes, except. But you know what's really interesting? It is interesting to think about how it plays out in how people do things. And Montgomery and I are so carbon copied. It's like, I mean, Dan has laughed about that, like, you know, for the years, he's like, what's his carbon copy of me?

 

00:01:35:20 - 00:01:59:19

Unknown

Right? So he's always like, it's so interesting how you guys, your thought process. But then having the male versus female, there's times where I'm like, no, like that's that's definitely not I don't think that way. But then to have Penelope and Truman with certain things that they do, it's interesting to be like, okay, that totally is an atypical brain.

 

00:01:59:19 - 00:02:26:07

Unknown

It's not a typical brain, and it's kind of cool now that I can see that, where I just always thought, well, maybe it was like a habit that I did that I kind of like, you know, your kids take on things that you did, but no, it's the where their brain works.

 

00:02:26:09 - 00:02:40:16

Unknown

Right?

 

00:02:40:18 - 00:03:06:24

Unknown

Yeah. It would actually be interest because I don't know, half of the time I will say like, he he listens when he wants to listen. Like when he's like, okay, I need to listen. So half of the time he's tuned out. That's one of the reasons why we always laugh. We're like, we're successful. No.

 

00:03:07:01 - 00:03:33:18

Unknown

Yeah. No, I don't do that. I promise you. Because when Dan, when he has something to say, there's there's meaning behind it. Does that make sense. So like his are like very.

 

00:03:33:19 - 00:03:50:14

Unknown

In our heads. Right. Totally. Yeah. There's times where Dan will be like, I'm so confused. However, there's a lot of times like, well, Penelope and I recently have caught, we're like, Honey and Truman. We're like, we were literally just all had this conversation. And he'll look up and smile and he'll be like, yeah, I wasn't listening to anything you guys said.

 

00:03:50:14 - 00:04:07:16

Unknown

And we're like, oh my God, you totally like acknowledged. And he's like, no, that wasn't a knowledge. No. If you know, there's I mean through the years it would I'd be like, are you are you saying that I did not have this conversation? I know because I know exactly what I was wearing. I know exactly where I was standing, and I know exactly what you said.

 

00:04:07:16 - 00:04:25:08

Unknown

And he'll be like, oh, yeah, I don't think I was fully listening to what you were saying. So then I would have to say, honey, this is important. Like, I need you to focus on this because I need you to listen, and I'm fine with that. Like, I'm actually really good. If he had to be in every thought process of mine, he would go crazy.

 

00:04:25:12 - 00:04:47:09

Unknown

Yeah. So I'm very okay with that. He tunes in and tunes out, but I don't tune out because when he's talking, for the most part it is. There's like there's substance to it. Like something that I need to either do or hear or like, let's get into conversation about. So I don't. But it would be interesting to hear because he might be like fucking full of shit.

 

00:04:47:11 - 00:05:59:16

Unknown

I don't think so, though.

 

00:05:59:18 - 00:06:27:13

Unknown

Right?

 

00:06:27:15 - 00:07:00:24

Unknown

Just as you said that, my stomach went bump.

 

00:07:01:01 - 00:07:45:06

Unknown

And.

 

00:07:45:08 - 00:08:00:21

Unknown

And one of the things I think is really important, as you said, like you're in elementary school, you're like halfway through and you're like, oh my God, I can breathe. The second you think you could breathe is the second you need to turn that back on, because you should not be breathing because something is being dropped through the cracks.

 

00:08:00:21 - 00:08:26:09

Unknown

And I will tell you this, this is from complete experience. Because anytime I've been like, then I mean, anytime I did that, I was like, oh my God, now another kid's diagnosed, oh my God. Right. So like the second you think, okay, I've got this. It's just like when you have a baby and the second you're like mastered that milestone and that, like, stage of that kid and you're like, oh my God, it feels so good.

 

00:08:26:09 - 00:08:50:14

Unknown

They changed like literally within like days. And then you're like, oh my god. Now I got to figure this out. It is the same thing with education in the five days, in my opinion, because the second you're like, okay, I have this, I'm comfortable, I feel good, my kids in a good spot. Something is going to change, whether it's the testing, whether it's a new teacher coming in, whether it's something that fell through the cracks, whether it's a new administration.

 

00:08:50:18 - 00:09:08:23

Unknown

I mean, things change behind the scenes where a lot of people don't realize, like in our district, the head of special editor I've had, like, I can't even tell you how many. And I keep chuckling because I'm like, okay, this is a new name, okay? We're not going to like say, hey, we have a new person here. They're just going to pretend like they know exactly what's going on.

 

00:09:08:24 - 00:09:27:02

Unknown

No, like it's not that way. So it's really important now that we're in the beginning of school. And so like anyone that's listening, that's like getting anxiety and like, oh my God, I'm behind. Right? Like I didn't do that. I didn't give the binder, you know. So we talk about that in every season, give the binder or an email and we'll talk about this.

 

00:09:27:02 - 00:09:48:16

Unknown

Because there was one thing that Brant and I sometimes disagree on but not disagree. You give the binder of everything that it is. It's also really helpful to put one sheets of like what your child has. So if their IEP if like or 504 if you're like in New York where you can't use the words dyslexia or whatever, you have to fight to get that put in.

 

00:09:48:17 - 00:09:54:11

Unknown

You can give them one sheets with here's.

 

00:09:54:13 - 00:10:17:05

Unknown

Yeah, exactly. So right. And that's the thing like, like and this is where I feel for the teachers at times because they're getting how many, you know as you said, if they have if there's 18, if they're teaching all these multiple classes, they're getting all of these IPS, 500 fours, and they're supposed to be on top of like, okay, this kid, this kid, it's a it's not an easy job.

 

00:10:17:07 - 00:10:36:05

Unknown

We're not saying that is, but it is your job. So even though it's not easy, it's still their job. So as a parent, you need to make sure that you're connecting with that teacher. Your teacher knows this is your child. This is what they their learning style is. These are the five D's that they have. This is what best works.

 

00:10:36:06 - 00:11:28:24

Unknown

Now, it doesn't matter if you're like, I don't want to annoy the teacher, I don't. I feel bad this and that. You're fucking your kid, basically. So like, if you don't want to annoy the teacher, you're basically screwing your kid. So you got you got to figure it out.

 

00:11:29:01 - 00:11:31:12

Unknown

Yep.

 

00:11:31:14 - 00:12:02:24

Unknown

Right.

 

00:12:03:01 - 00:12:50:18

Unknown

Now I got so many emails, it's ridiculous. Yeah.

 

00:12:50:20 - 00:13:07:05

Unknown

it's staring in the

 

00:13:07:07 - 00:13:30:15

Unknown

Exactly. And then like. And for elementary, that is, it's like it's a perfect thing. You're kind of putting it all together. The teacher can sit and look. That's where like one sheets and all that. Things are helpful. I have in the past. And it was really when we mainstreamed Montgomery again in middle school. I sent like a video of like a of what dyslexia was to a teacher.

 

00:13:30:15 - 00:13:45:12

Unknown

But that was like mid-year because the teacher I was like, okay, you I've told you a thousand times, maybe you're a visual learner, so let's play this game differently. Let me say, hey, can you just read this because how you're teaching him is not working and I don't think you understand. So I just want to put this there.

 

00:13:45:12 - 00:14:12:03

Unknown

So there are but I can't emphasize enough. As frustrating is as a parent going in respectfully and wanting to work with the teacher is the best. Because if you go in and I've had experience both ways. So talking from experience, again, if you go in kind of guns of blazing or with your traumas, it doesn't always work as well.

 

00:14:12:03 - 00:15:24:04

Unknown

But they do, they do listen. And and I have never found that any time I've intervened or talked that it never it was always good for the for my, my children. It was never like it backfired or like, oh my gosh. So that is one thing I do want to make very clear. It's always like, okay, maybe my approach wasn't the best, but the end result was good and it was beneficial.

 

00:15:24:06 - 00:16:12:24

Unknown

76%, 76 or 79, 79 or 76% of college A of teachers that went to college were not taught anything about the five days. It was in the 70s, whether it was 3 or 9. Yeah.

 

00:16:13:01 - 00:16:40:19

Unknown

And you have to touch base. Yeah. And you need to touch base mid year and at the end. Yeah.

 

00:16:40:20 - 00:17:02:02

Unknown

It's a it's a full time job. It's it's really hard. And that's like when you're in elementary school we've had so many people I know at least I have. And I know you have to that are like oh no I'm good. I'm in a great district. They they're totally fine. And then they hit middle school and they're like, oh my God.

 

00:17:02:04 - 00:17:22:13

Unknown

And whether they reach out to me or they just, you know, or talk like it, it is. It's every year, every situation is different. And it doesn't matter if you think your district is good, it could change like that. And it's the teachers don't talk to each other. This is the other thing. I was talking to a parent this weekend.

 

00:17:22:15 - 00:17:40:11

Unknown

It doesn't matter that the second and third grade teachers are best friends. They're not talking about Johnny. So if the second grade teacher was like, oh, this really worked for Johnny. Now listen, there are and I'm going to state this. We're talking in generalizations. We know that there are diamonds in the rough, but that's exactly what they are.

 

00:17:40:13 - 00:18:05:16

Unknown

They're they're diamonds. And this is the majority of the time we see this happening. That is why we're talking about it. We're not throwing people under the bus. We're not being negative. We're not saying, oh, people are not doing their jobs, that everyone is not doing their jobs. We are talking about our personal experiences, living with it, going through school with it, and then having children that are living with it and going through school with it.

 

00:18:05:16 - 00:18:26:04

Unknown

And I'm still in the trenches. So like I am talking from exact experience. So that is what I want everyone to hear. Brant talks to people every day, exact experiences. We were talking to parents, exact experiences. So more than not we hear the same story. And it's heartbreaking because it is the same story as when we were children.

 

00:18:26:04 - 00:18:59:07

Unknown

And it's like, okay, everyone says how far dyslexia has come. Oh wait, I've heard it. It the school is worse than it ever was, in my opinion, because maybe there's the word and people know it, but it's still not being adjusted.

 

00:18:59:09 - 00:19:19:11

Unknown

And they're just going to blow a ton of smoke and tell your kids, okay. And then when you look to see where the rest of the classes and you realize, oh my God, he's only improved this much and everyone's improved 90%, and you're like, wait a second. How is that? Know the rest of the know that you're not making any said.

 

00:19:19:11 - 00:21:16:02

Unknown

Well, he didn't prove a little bit okay for a. Yeah.

 

00:21:16:04 - 00:21:37:09

Unknown

Yeah. And it's exhausting but it's really, really important. And so if you're listening to this and you're like, oh my God, I didn't I didn't schedule my meeting, it's fine. Take a breath. Schedule your meeting and do it now. Schedule touch base touch base with specific meetings. You should do that three times a year, but then also have a touch base with the younger kids.

 

00:21:37:09 - 00:21:58:18

Unknown

Obviously, you know, when the kids get into high school, it's you know, you have to also give them and this is where you and I sometimes, you know, you see how it worked for Montgomery. But Montgomery overtook and every year from his sort of like sophomore year when he realized, okay, I really do want to go to college and I'm going to need help, right?

 

00:21:58:18 - 00:22:22:00

Unknown

I'm going to need help. So he would email the teachers or go up to them. I know maybe you haven't seen my IEP, but I want to let you know. And he usually emailed them like right when he got his schedule I want to go to college. So any help you can give me, I'd really appreciate it. I do have dyslexia and he would give all his D's and say, you know, when you look at my IEP you'll understand and let's do this whatever.

 

00:22:22:00 - 00:22:40:19

Unknown

And they always were like, thank you so much. That was so helpful. And we got you like we want you to succeed too. And so that was like an approach that was really, really great. And then if he ever needed me to step in I would step in. But I was, you know, as the kids got older, as the kids are older, if they need me to step in, I do.

 

00:22:40:19 - 00:23:02:13

Unknown

But I really have taught them to advocate for themselves. But they do have understanding. And if you can get your child to that point of the understanding and being comfortable with it, then they will be able to advocate and not, you know, hide because they're embarrassed or whatever. I mean, there's so many times Montgomery was like, oh, I really wanted to hide, but I knew I needed to get a good grade, so I had to like my pants on and be like, guess what?

 

00:23:02:14 - 00:23:34:07

Unknown

I don't understand anything that you just said. And I know we have a test in a couple of days. How can you help me? And it feels shit. It sucks. But because of understanding and conversations, we know that everyone learns different and people have their strengths and weaknesses and school maybe is not, you know, one of the giant strengths, but unfortunately it's one of these things that you have to do if you have certain goals and you know you want to go to college or whatever.

 

00:23:34:07 - 00:24:46:14

Unknown

So it's not fun, but it's it's necessary.

 

00:24:46:16 - 00:24:59:16

Unknown

I'm going to leave it at that. Thank you for joining season five of Word Blindness Dyslexia Exposed. I say it every time. So if you've been listening and we'll say like rate, review and share because you don't know who needs to hear this.