S5E9: Understanding and navigating IEP and 504 plans

In this episode, Juliet Hahn shares her personal journey navigating her children's special educational needs, advocating for accommodations, and the importance of understanding the school system. Brent and Juliet discuss strategies for parents to effectively support their kids and the significance of proactive communication with educators.

 

Chapters

 

00:00 Introduction and overview of the episode

02:02 The importance of understanding your child's learning profile

02:56 Navigating IEPs and 504 plans: what parents need to know

03:58 The role of neuropsychological testing in identifying needs

05:07 Advocating for appropriate accommodations in school

06:06 The emotional journey of parents and the importance of support

06:54 Strategies for effective communication with teachers

07:51 The significance of early intervention and proactive planning

08:56 Juliet's positive experience with a supportive teacher

09:58 The challenges of pulling children out of class for support

11:07 The importance of understanding school systems and districts

11:58 How parents can advocate respectfully and effectively

13:04 The impact of school environment on learning and behavior

14:00 The importance of patience and persistence in advocacy

14:48 Reflecting on personal experiences and lessons learned

15:59 The value of community and shared knowledge

17:05 Encouragement for parents navigating the system

18:02 The need for systemic change and better support

18:51 Juliet's hopes for future improvements in education

19:50 Closing thoughts and call to action for parents

 

Transcript

 

00:00:09:23 - 00:00:32:01

Unknown

All right. So before we always talk about like what are we going to talk about. And there's so much to talk about. I'm going to start with I had a teacher call. First time in certain north. We're starting here. Yeah. Where did you think I was in the start? The schools just starting. So this could go.

 

00:00:32:02 - 00:00:51:19

Unknown

This could go a million different places. Well, I'm just I'm going to touch on it because I'm optimistic. Right. Yeah. No, 100%. I am in pressed with this. Totally impressed with that. And and took me back because I almost didn't didn't answer. So I was outside and trying to meditate. And it was I think it was a day.

 

00:00:51:19 - 00:01:17:04

Unknown

And because I've been having some days and I was like, oh, mother fucker. The school, does it come up? Like, do you have the, the number saving your phone or does it come up whatever school when you call on that caller ID it is saved. But it does. It still comes up with and I'm not going to say the school, but basically says the school underneath.

 

00:01:17:04 - 00:01:42:11

Unknown

And I literally my heart dropped. I my mouth watering, my stomach hurt, and I was like, okay, oh, we we thought we worked through a lot of this. And, you know, I just have Penelope home and, you know, and so I was like, oh, what is this going to be? Almost an empty nester? Okay. Are you trying to make me cry on this and fucking dick.

 

00:01:42:12 - 00:02:07:22

Unknown

Jesus. No, I am two years. Do not rush any of this. Oh, my God, you already have my eye watering. Anyways, so I answer, and, there's this very sweet voice on the other end saying that she's Penelope's math teacher. And if if you have you just. Or joining this. My oldest is dyslexic. My two younger ones are dysgraphia and dyscalculia.

 

00:02:07:23 - 00:02:27:21

Unknown

My oldest is dyslexic and all of the other ones. And Penelope's a junior this year. Yes. And she does like she's a really good grades. I mean, her grade point average is well above like an average. She's like three, eight, three, whatever. I don't even know. And she might be like mom, but whatever. She's got a really good grade.

 

00:02:27:21 - 00:02:47:22

Unknown

I mean, she gets A's and B's, mostly A's. She's that kind of student, so. But science and math got us same as it got German sophomore year. And, you know, we were driving and she went left instead of right, and I was like, oh, my God, how did I miss this? And I asked, start asking her about spelling.

 

00:02:47:22 - 00:02:59:02

Unknown

She's like, I can't spell. And I'm like, how do I not know this? Anyways, I had a bit of a freak out, got her diagnosed and so she decided she wanted to take AP pre calc.

 

00:02:59:04 - 00:03:21:15

Unknown

Now I like we talked. This is the thing that I do love about the relationship I have with my daughter is that she is a go getter and pushes herself and things that I never would have pushed myself. So she has made me grow as a human and as a mother. And really go to her and be like, okay, these like, let's, let's lay this out and let's is this realistic?

 

00:03:21:15 - 00:03:40:12

Unknown

And all of her, how she laid things out, I was like, I think you should run the world. Like it's really she is really like very logical and explained why she wanted to take this. Other than that she did her research. She talked to other students. She knew what teachers they were going to be like. She did it.

 

00:03:40:12 - 00:03:59:12

Unknown

And she knew that if she didn't take this, what the other classes were going to be, and she knows that the level of people she wants in her class, because if it's not there, she gets very frustrated, all like really logical. And I was like, okay, so she chose to take this one. And the teacher said, you know, I was going through Penelope's IEP.

 

00:03:59:14 - 00:04:35:11

Unknown

Now, school started for us for whatever it was. It was like three days. And I was like, just you're only a you're basically, you know, aren't you? Just a week. Yeah, just a week. But we had Labor Day, you know. So it's like Thursday. That's what you had Thursday. Friday and then this and then Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. And we're recording Friday this this week I was like, okay, you know, and I'm sitting there going like thinking like, is she going to say this is not, you know, whatever I was I had the negative thoughts, which sucked because I usually know I was always positive before.

 

00:04:35:12 - 00:04:56:23

Unknown

So I went to the negative. Well, yes. And not positive. You know, it's coming from a teacher. So yes, it's a non mac negative thought coming from a teacher when we're talking about it. And five or fours and all the stuff that we talk about. Yes. And meaning I was positive like there was a day when like when Montgomery was younger that I would have, you know, been like, oh, this is so nice, like, this is great.

 

00:04:56:23 - 00:05:19:09

Unknown

But then realizing, oh, they're trying to get out of something or they, they haven't read it or whatever. So I, you know, very it was like, oh, okay. And she said I've, you know, pulled Penelope very like side very quietly after class. And I explained to her, you know, because she has some of her accommodations are the for your I know you're going to laugh at this because I was like, I had to wrap my head around it.

 

00:05:19:12 - 00:05:35:16

Unknown

The four. I don't even know the words. Whatever. There's calculators that are the very, very advanced calculators. You know, the bigger ones that are like the Texas instrument. I know they do like lots of stuff that I have no idea. And then there's the one that we have that's like a regular one that is like on your phone.

 

00:05:35:20 - 00:06:01:05

Unknown

Right. So like that kind of gives the listeners like the ones called a graphing calculator. Thank you. I just got that town notes now I sound I could never figure that up. Yeah. So it's like a $200 calculator too. It's like really expensive. So she said some of the class in her IEP, I mean, in her 504, it says that she can use a calculator, but she's only allowed to use the for function.

 

00:06:01:05 - 00:06:19:08

Unknown

That's what it is the for function calculator. So that's like the one that's on your phone or like the regular one that you can get a CVS. And I said okay. And she said and I explained to her and she said that she feels like that would be fine. And I you know, the teacher said, but then there's other parts that she's allowed, just like everyone else, to use the graphing calculator.

 

00:06:19:08 - 00:06:39:13

Unknown

So there is a little bit of a disadvantage in that it doesn't do all the functions, but she doesn't need it for all the functions. So I was like, you know, and I knew when we got the 504, this is coming from college prep. This is all the stuff that I got into with college prep. But again, I had teachers that reached out that said she is taking these classes.

 

00:06:39:18 - 00:07:01:11

Unknown

Here are some of my suggestions, which I never had. Right when Montgomery was like, no one ever suggested anything, they basically tried to. I was gonna say, fuck you from every side. So I apologize if there's any kids listening. So I was really hesitant on, you know, what they were doing, but I was like, okay, this is this is this is new to me.

 

00:07:01:16 - 00:07:12:07

Unknown

We're just going to go with it. So she said, I pulled her aside. I talked to her. She was like, I really hope she comes to me if she needs it. I said to her, if she wants to take test in the testing center or if she wants to take him here, I want to give it completely up to her.

 

00:07:12:07 - 00:07:31:06

Unknown

And I'm literally sitting there like, like looking around the corner, like, if someone's going to be like, you're punked. Excuse me. And I, I was able then to give her our background. She didn't know Montgomery, but she knew Truman, and she didn't have him in any other class. Except, like, a special. So senior year, I don't I don't know how that went.

 

00:07:31:08 - 00:07:49:21

Unknown

Which I'm sure it's fine. Meaning that she doesn't know him. Really? You know, as a student, she knows him as a senior. That was taking it special. It's very different. So I was like, okay, so I talked to her when she came home and she said, yeah, mom, she seems really nice. I feel good about it. Like, I know that if I need to go to the testing center, I'm comfortable with that.

 

00:07:49:21 - 00:08:10:08

Unknown

And if I want to stay in class, I'm comfortable with that, which are all things that I was really proud to hear. Because if there was any time in any of this when she was taking her six apps, that she was like, no, I'm going to figure it out and do it myself and not use my accommodations. Then I would have had a deeper conversation with her like, well, wait a second, like, now this sounds like this is biting more off than you maybe think.

 

00:08:10:08 - 00:08:45:17

Unknown

And this is not logical, but it all seemed really good. And I'm I'm optimistic. I'm really optimistic and proud of that teacher. And I said to the teacher, can I say to you, I just want to thank you so much. In all of my years, I never had a teacher reach out first. And this early, and or even a younger teacher or an older teacher, or in the happy medium or I don't know, I have to ask Penelope because we haven't had, we haven't had open house, and I don't know that I what are we going to that?

 

00:08:45:17 - 00:09:07:11

Unknown

Because we're traveling like the next day or early in the morning. So I don't know. She sounded younger, but you can't tell by someone's voice. Right. And she was surprised, like, she was like, oh, what? And didn't you say that Montgomery had. And I was like, oh, a full on IAP? Yes. He went to a dyslexic school, and she was like, oh, wow, that's so amazing that he had that school.

 

00:09:07:12 - 00:09:32:12

Unknown

She seemed new. Her. Let's just say that like and so I don't know if she hasn't been jaded by the school system yet. Or if, you know, and it could be that she might be a brand new teacher. That's like, I want to work this way. Or she could be someone that just understands. But it was really awesome, and I was really proud and it like, gave me a little sunshine that day again.

 

00:09:32:12 - 00:09:59:22

Unknown

You know, it's every once in a while squirrel gets a nut. Yeah. And when it comes to, you know, comes to school, that's all it really is. Getting a school, getting a not, you know, obviously, he told me that. Yo, the one person we know, dyslexic and, you know, teaching, you know, you know, she quit, you know, left the school system.

 

00:10:00:00 - 00:10:27:06

Unknown

So it's it's good to hear, you know, there every there's no everybody. Every once in a while the squirrel does get a nut. Well and the thing is like. Yeah. And what. And I want to say this like so loud for people to hear is like I've been through all of this. Right. And with Penelope because of the dyscalculia and because she's a good student, I was I didn't know what to do.

 

00:10:27:06 - 00:10:49:08

Unknown

I didn't know that you could like, I just knew that something needed to like, I needed accommodations, but I didn't know which ones to even do. And this is after I being through school with Montgomery all of these years, and I still didn't know. And that's why we do this, like, as much as like, I mean, it's it's so important because as a parent, you don't know what to ask for.

 

00:10:49:09 - 00:11:08:11

Unknown

As a parent, I didn't know what to ask for. For Penelope with a 500 for Montgomery had an IEP, but he wasn't allowed to take the AP classes because they didn't even offer it. I didn't know that some of the AP classes actually would have been better for him. Like one of the things that Penelope said, and I'm going to say this in the most P.C. manner, because at first when she said it, I was like, it's terrible.

 

00:11:08:13 - 00:11:44:20

Unknown

And she's like, mom, that's not what I mean. And then she explained, and again, like when I say run the world like she's such a a well-rounded human that like, when she speaks, I'm like, I need to listen to her. Like she's just there's not a judgment. Like she's just a really special, really special person. But she said to me, mom, some of the classes that I would have to take or I should take because of my 504, the students annoy me so badly because they don't care and it's really distracting and I just want to learn.

 

00:11:44:22 - 00:12:06:14

Unknown

And she said a couple other things that I was like, okay, but I understood what she was saying, and I know what Montgomery used to say, and he probably would have done fine in the AP classes because the teachers would are teaching to kids that actually some of them want to learn where, when, when you're and when you're putting all the time, like Montgomery didn't want to learn like, right.

 

00:12:06:15 - 00:12:25:01

Unknown

He was like, you all right? Like I didn't I don't want to learn, right? Get out of my face. Totally. And it's because she wasn't jaded. Because she's had good experiences in school. Right? We've had terrible experiences. So we get that chip on your shoulder. And it's not that we want that. We want someone to see us. We want.

 

00:12:25:03 - 00:12:50:05

Unknown

I mean, for the college prep I told you, like after I made a huge deal, then there was a couple of teachers that were like, you know what? We saw that she's taking this and she's allowed to actually use a calculator, but you can't use it here. And they like, reached out and told me and I have I have to say, I said to them again, like, you guys weren't like this when I was with my older son, so forgive me if I'm a little like, what's under the hood?

 

00:12:50:06 - 00:13:10:21

Unknown

Like, what are you trying to pull? Like, oh, and I don't like that feeling because that's not my initial feeling. That's not who I am. So yeah, it's it is like, how would I supposed to know? So she would have had to suffer if these these teachers weren't like, wait a second, let's look into this. And I don't know if they wanted to look into it because she is a good student and they're like, oh, you know what I mean?

 

00:13:10:22 - 00:13:35:19

Unknown

Like there's it's it's sucks. It sucks because Montgomery like right now he's on the Dean's list in college. He is doing well, just like I did well in college. But no one gave. High school is a different, you know, different animal. You know, especially for Montgomery. You know, I don't in school. I don't think he would have done as well as you thought just because his mindset wasn't there.

 

00:13:35:21 - 00:13:44:07

Unknown

Yeah, I know his mindset is now there. You know, you know, kind of in a better place. But it's.

 

00:13:44:09 - 00:13:55:12

Unknown

You know. Yeah. Yeah. It was yesterday. Or the other day I seen that neuroscience. And.

 

00:13:55:14 - 00:14:24:13

Unknown

It talks about that, you know, the narrow psych you know, addressing in there, this, this little girl was learning it and math was at 1% math. And, you know, it was between 1 and 3 percentile. She was in. And, you know, the little girl was not happy, not a cooperative, you know, during, you know, during the test.

 

00:14:24:15 - 00:14:47:15

Unknown

And, you know, it said we need to address the ADHD, before we can, you know, kind of go back and, you know, revisit the learning disabilities. But, you know, in the recommendations, it says, you know, what benefit from OG or Wilson or, you know, you know, something.

 

00:14:47:17 - 00:15:17:04

Unknown

But diagnosed. So this was in grade one with depression. Yeah, I know I saw that. And I was like, whoa. So, I talked to the mom and, you know, did a little digging, asking questions and, you know, and figured out, you know, the little girl now has, you know, behavioral issues when it comes to, to the school, you know, to the schooling.

 

00:15:17:06 - 00:15:21:04

Unknown

Never had it before.

 

00:15:21:06 - 00:15:46:21

Unknown

So, you know, I said to to the mom you know obviously the learning disabilities is what is creating all the this you know the learning or the behavioral the anger. Anger. And I said I you know I use the example of me throwing the desk and she's like no, she's threw a chair and prekindergarten like a charity knows that she doesn't fit in.

 

00:15:46:23 - 00:16:00:20

Unknown

And she's like you know she's in grade two. I try to hold her back in grade one. And the school is like, no, no, she's all right. Well, we'll get her caught up. We'll get.

 

00:16:00:22 - 00:16:23:03

Unknown

She was between 1 and 3 percentile learning. Yeah. So you just now and now we're in a grade. You know, grade two. You know. And then so I asked, you know, what was, you know, what's a part of her IP, you know, so she's supposed to get, pulled out for, you know, math and reading all these kind of things.

 

00:16:23:03 - 00:16:42:08

Unknown

And I'm like, how's that going? She goes, not very good. She's not learning much because she only gets about ten minutes. I'm like, why? She puts up a fit, having to leave and then he's a guy. You know, I hired an advocate to help me. I'm like, no. And then, you know me. I start going off. I'm like her behavior.

 

00:16:42:08 - 00:17:00:18

Unknown

She doesn't want to get pulled up, right? She doesn't want to be. That kid gets pulled out every single time in front of everybody. I said, you know your advocate that you spent how much dollars on where she advocating for should never get pulled out.

 

00:17:00:20 - 00:17:13:09

Unknown

I said she goes, oh wow, I can obviously I know the mom. You know she doesn't have it right. So she doesn't have the understanding behind it. But,

 

00:17:13:11 - 00:17:34:19

Unknown

I said, you never pull a kid out of a classroom. She was, you know, they used to pull her out sometimes when they're playing a game or having fun. And she. I'm like, yeah, because she doesn't want to be pulled out in front of all her peers and put a big bull's eye on my back every single day.

 

00:17:34:21 - 00:18:10:12

Unknown

And she's like, oh, that makes sense. And yeah, you're, you know, you know, the reason I got into this was like, she was leading at 1 to 3 percentile and depression at two grade, two second grade for Americans. Why? What kicked off what you're you're on and and here we are. This little girl's not worth. Hasn't learned a thing.

 

00:18:10:13 - 00:18:17:14

Unknown

Not connecting in class. Right. She hates going to school, right. Why? Why would I want to go?

 

00:18:17:16 - 00:18:37:17

Unknown

And then now I might be enjoying myself or doing something, and I'm going to get pulled out, and I got, you know. Yeah. The school that I will come will catch you up. No, that is a blatant fucking lie.

 

00:18:37:19 - 00:18:50:15

Unknown

You know, to be a Debbie Downer coming off of your your your your your story. It was. Yeah. Yeah. Again it it's just another portion of.

 

00:18:50:17 - 00:19:14:16

Unknown

The school. You you're passing a little girl and you don't give a flying fuck, right? I will get her caught up knowing that they're not. What. They're not what so I so I do because I think this is really important for parents to hear because they're going to be like, wait, what? My kids getting pulled out that there is ways to do it and there's ways to not.

 

00:19:14:17 - 00:19:32:08

Unknown

Right. So like, I know when we were in Connecticut, the way that they did it and the way they established it, it was never during a time that the child liked, you know what I mean? Like that, that never like group reading. I had to argue with them at one point. However, there was the way that they did.

 

00:19:32:08 - 00:19:49:16

Unknown

It is there was multiple people, not just the kids that learn different. It was like gifted and talented. So kids were coming in and out at all times and they did it very specifically. Now, I'm not saying that all like this school that she said this is like a good school district. She in a good school district apparently, or.

 

00:19:49:18 - 00:20:12:16

Unknown

Yeah. So that's what I also want people to understand. It's not the the what. Sometimes the less less affluent less like grade A or whatever, whatever they want to say. Like they're school districts that have that some of them, some districts do it better and some don't. But this is why it's so important to understand the makeup of what your school is doing.

 

00:20:12:16 - 00:20:28:16

Unknown

When your child is either getting diagnosed or you're like, you know, you're you're coming up on it. Because if it's like this child and like, I think even your daughter, like they were, they were the only ones being pulled out or they were the only ones that had iPads. And that is where they the school needs to. Okay, let's think about this.

 

00:20:28:17 - 00:20:45:22

Unknown

You guys got creative. You brought her in earlier for the the OG. So you're not saying because this is what I want people to like. You're not saying, oh, it's fine. Just don't pull her out and then there's no repercussions. Like she has to get this, like, yeah. Have to get this. Yeah. You know, we did it before school.

 

00:20:46:03 - 00:20:56:00

Unknown

Yeah. Again. That was, that was, you know, getting her up earlier its own little battle. The battle inside itself. But you know.

 

00:20:56:02 - 00:21:19:14

Unknown

You as a younger age kids, we know we're different. But we don't know what that means. Right. Like, it took me till a couple of years ago to figure out some of my behaviors at hockey. It. So it takes you know, obviously the older we get, the old wiser they you know, they get they say, you know, there's more understanding, but we know we don't fit in.

 

00:21:19:15 - 00:21:43:15

Unknown

Right. So now you want to pull me out. You know, it's like I've got a big siren and a flag. Here I am by everybody. I'm leaving, you know, and kids are mean, right? Where are you going? My. Why are you dumb? Why? Like kids say that, right? And kids recognize little things, you know? So I always start with don't pull, you know, but then there's, there's some kids that are okay with it.

 

00:21:43:16 - 00:22:11:12

Unknown

Right. That's. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Yeah. For me is always starting with not pulling them out and and doing that work is that before school is at lunchtime. Is that after, you know, if we're talking about ending Gillingham or Wilson reading or, or is that in the evening, you know, whatever it is, they need it. Right. But I always, you know, I always own the caution of don't pull out, you know, until you get some understanding of what this whole thing is.

 

00:22:11:13 - 00:22:32:12

Unknown

Yes. So I'm right. Yeah. I love that you you clarify that. Yeah, totally. It's a new you just, you know, you just got a diagnosis or how's my kid going to happen? Because, you know, OG and Wilson, it's tedious. It sucks. My my diary. Oh, my God, I gotta do this. So you're right. It is the most boring, tedious.

 

00:22:32:13 - 00:23:01:15

Unknown

You know, I'd like to say bullshit brain tiring to this. So it I, I would say you give it, you know a three month window. So you have some understanding of how it's going, what actually entails. Then maybe, you know your child is comfortable to be pulled out, then maybe you can do that. And talk to them.

 

00:23:01:17 - 00:23:19:20

Unknown

And this is where and I love everything you just said. And I really want people to hear this and think about it. And this is why we say this. This none of this is easy. There is no easy shortcut. There is no time in school when you have kids that struggle, that you're going to be like, oh, I'm taking a breath.

 

00:23:19:20 - 00:23:37:09

Unknown

Now, listen, I talked about like when Montgomery was in. Well, because that. Didn't you say that you said the exact same thing. Oh, now I can take a breath. Oh, totally. You can't wait to take a breath. You're like, oh, I gotta can take, take, I can't wait. You're literally feeling like you're in that pond with like the straw just tiny bit above the water when it comes.

 

00:23:37:09 - 00:24:00:06

Unknown

And I'm talking about just one aspect of your life. When you have a child that is struggling, right? That's you are constantly trying to figure it out. You're okay. How can I make this better? Now I know everyone's different levels, right? There's everyone that has different levels. Everyone's built different. But this is never going to be easy, so you need to listen.

 

00:24:00:06 - 00:24:14:15

Unknown

I wish I could give myself a vice. You know, all of those years ago, you just say. I took a breath like, take a breath. Think about it. You get the diagnosis right. You're fighting to get the diagnosis. However that is, you're in the fucking mud. You're like trying to hold on because you're like, oh my God, it's taking too long.

 

00:24:14:15 - 00:24:32:08

Unknown

This and that, and you don't understand it. You're trying to learn. And then it's like, okay, here's the IEP or the 504. And then they lay all of this stuff out. And it's it's a lot of times you're like, I can't even wrap my head around like I know for myself, I kind of wrap my head around half of it because I need to do it right to understand, well, why don't you take what is this?

 

00:24:32:10 - 00:24:51:01

Unknown

But this is where it's so important just to be able to do that and be like, okay, let me envision a day of my child's right. Find out if they say that they're pulling out or just like Brant said, let's give it a little time. But here's the other thing is, after school might not be the best time either.

 

00:24:51:04 - 00:25:08:20

Unknown

So like, the morning might be really hard. Like I know with like Penelope is not a morning person that never would have, that never would have flown. That would have been like the death of all of us because she couldn't do it. Montgomery. That could have actually been something, because he was really good at going to bed and falling asleep and like, you could I could have changed his kind of time.

 

00:25:09:01 - 00:25:25:16

Unknown

He loved lunch, so I would never do it. But there's some kids that don't love that, right? Like so finding out the things there could be something even though, like, they're missing art or music and they love that, or or they really don't like that. And then you know what? Let's. Okay. Why don't they like it? Let's figure that out.

 

00:25:25:16 - 00:25:43:23

Unknown

But then, hey, here's an opportunity. Now you as the parent, have to advocate and really respectfully, because the school is not going to be happy that you're changing. Like this is a system right there. They're like, it's a clog. You're like and then all of a sudden you're the fucking wrench that's being put in it and they're like, whoa!

 

00:25:44:01 - 00:26:02:08

Unknown

And then they push back and they yell and they scream. But this is where it's so important to know your kid, to know, okay, I do need to fight for this because this is going to be the saving grace that's going to give them that self-confidence that they can hold on to for a little bit, because you're getting that fucking dryer and you're getting shoes tumbled and hit all the time.

 

00:26:02:08 - 00:26:24:12

Unknown

And if you can find that little breath of light that's going to be like, okay, they can hold on. It's convenient. I know as a parent listening to this, it's so overwhelming. So everything we just said is so overwhelming. Digest it. Think about it. It's not anything you have to do right now. If you have a year that you're like, oh wait, I just fucked that up.

 

00:26:24:13 - 00:26:32:07

Unknown

No it's fine. Listen. And then move right. And you know and.

 

00:26:32:09 - 00:26:40:02

Unknown

They obviously the line assumptions death. And then

 

00:26:40:04 - 00:26:44:12

Unknown

No one

 

00:26:44:13 - 00:27:01:03

Unknown

Thinking the school knows what they're talking about is death. Right, right. And has the best interest for your child. Yeah. No, those are those are. No. And that's that's kind of what, you know, where I was going, you know, with this, you know.

 

00:27:01:05 - 00:27:09:22

Unknown

You're diagnosing a seven year old with depression. Okay, okay. I'm fine with that. All right, let's go.

 

00:27:10:00 - 00:27:19:01

Unknown

What? Why? Why? Right. Poor baby. And when I talk to,

 

00:27:19:03 - 00:27:48:19

Unknown

The lady who babysat the little girl. For years, she never had any behavior problems, so she went to school. Right. All right, now that is a massive red, blue green flag. Yeah. Every kind of flag you want. That is a short sign. Now, doctors, we're gonna diagnose her. You know, we gotta need to get to 80 HP intact.

 

00:27:48:21 - 00:28:04:18

Unknown

No we don't. She was fine before she started going to school. Clearly screams learning disabilities. But she diagnosed her. And then what?

 

00:28:04:20 - 00:28:22:01

Unknown

The doctor did did it. Did a pretty good job in that report. I you know I was kind of you know impressed with all, you know everything that she laid, laid it out in the kind of how. But this is the, the factory.

 

00:28:22:03 - 00:28:34:17

Unknown

How was she before school started. How was she? A younger age. Oh, she know she. Did she have any behavior problem? No, it doesn't register with them.

 

00:28:34:19 - 00:28:43:04

Unknown

To put the two and two together. You know, and it's,

 

00:28:43:06 - 00:29:15:03

Unknown

The cookie cutter and you know, this is how we do it, right. We don't live in it. Now and I can't tell you how many times we've talked to people that we're working with or a part of the foundation now that can remember when they liked school and when they didn't. And like if I could burn down every library in the world I would.

 

00:29:15:05 - 00:29:20:04

Unknown

I get people. I'd like to read fuck you.

 

00:29:20:06 - 00:29:36:01

Unknown

I actually like libraries, but I know, I know, there's something about like the smell of a library that I like. Oh. Oh, she. I went to liquor store the other day. That smell. I'm like, oh.

 

00:29:36:03 - 00:30:00:03

Unknown

Library or liquor? Liquor store. Yeah. All right. But that's teach his own. Don't, don't. I think they both share with hell. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I get my math and my reading and reading. Exactly. But don't you remember? Like, I remember I enjoyed kindergarten. I did I. Wait, I don't think I told you. No, I didn't tell you because.

 

00:30:00:05 - 00:30:18:01

Unknown

Oh, the other day I was doing spring cleaning, which I don't love to do, because then I come across things that I've kept, and then I sit and I'm reading letters and I'm like, doing like, oh, just doing everything that I preface with, with everybody listening. You're harder. I'm not a hoarder, but I like to keep. I like to keep.

 

00:30:18:02 - 00:30:34:10

Unknown

Yes. Okay. So I have like my like, old notes that my dad like stuff like that. I like to keep keepsakes. So I do like, I still have like the kids, the carrier that I used for the kids and like each of their blanket or whatever. Yeah, I like to keep little things like that. Or like a onesie, like a hoarder.

 

00:30:34:11 - 00:30:55:12

Unknown

That's like. So I would say, like I'm sentimental. Whatever. Whatever terminology you would like to use, we can go with that. Perfect. Yeah. So I didn't tell you this. I can't believe this. This this threw me, and I, I don't think I, I only told Dan because he's like, are you okay? Sums up. And I was like, oh, I was like, I really don't want to talk about it.

 

00:30:55:12 - 00:31:22:10

Unknown

But I found my mom had given me my manila envelope of all of my testing and how your neural site testing. No, because it was done through the school. And I have never been so angry and so sad. And then also like, so like my poor mom multiple times was like, there's something not right, there was something not right.

 

00:31:22:10 - 00:31:51:14

Unknown

And them continuing to be like, well, this and this. And I went, member, I said to you, I feel like I was tested all the time, but it's like, I don't I don't know why I get so anxious. I was fucking tested so first grade and then again in sometimes middle school and then in high school. So kind of testing like, you know, you know, we talk about I don't remember much about my grade school, you know, from I don't remember any testing.

 

00:31:51:14 - 00:32:10:00

Unknown

I don't remember. Right. Obviously. You know, you they say you block things out because you don't want to, you know. Yeah. You don't you don't, you know, protecting yourself. So I can't I can't relate when when it comes to acts. I don't recall that. Now what do you mean? You know, explain to her. Were they narrow sites? Were they, were they.

 

00:32:10:02 - 00:32:26:16

Unknown

They were like the school whisk or whatever. Like the school whisk, 1 or 2 or whatever. Yeah, yeah. And they did all that. And it's interesting because the numbers definitely. And I've even seen this with like, you know, like grade point average, those are different than like when we were there, it was like it went to a 4.0.

 

00:32:26:16 - 00:32:42:06

Unknown

Now it's like someone's like I have a 4 or 5 and I'm like, what? Or just like two plus two used to be four. But now it's if you don't do all these. Yeah, yeah. So when I was reading this I was like, oh my numbers. Wow. Like my I whatever my IQ, I didn't realize it was like that high.

 

00:32:42:06 - 00:32:58:17

Unknown

And then I was like looking back, I mean, it's like an average, it's normal. But it was on this, it was a different number than they used before. So I had to like sit. But then of course, I was like, oh, now I need to dive into this a little more. But then I started getting even more angry because it was like, you read the description of what?

 

00:32:58:18 - 00:33:20:10

Unknown

Like the for my first grade teacher, and then you read, like all the stuff that my mom wrote because it was during when my older sister, you know, and she was like, I'm seeing some of the same signs, but first grade, they they're basically she's just a happy, very happy.

 

00:33:20:12 - 00:33:40:04

Unknown

Very happy, energetic, hard to sit still to get any of this in so clearly. But my mom always said she's like, no, you had we knew that we didn't get the diagnosis of ADHD because we weren't putting you on meds, which, you know, I appreciated. My parents weren't that wasn't what they were, but they were like, so it was like in there, like we changed the diet.

 

00:33:40:04 - 00:34:12:18

Unknown

We did this, we did that. But so early math, I actually understood, which I thought was really interesting. And that was not my big issue. It was a visual thing, which now I know, but I also was slower to read. But I did read. So again, it was like, it wasn't like, we're Montgomery, you know, like we're memorizing.

 

00:34:12:19 - 00:34:39:10

Unknown

And it could have been memorizing. And they they just didn't have the words to it, you know, I have no idea. But then you see, as the next time it was like, she can't like there's no like, so whatever my brain was when I was in first grade, I was grasping the things. But I needed a lot of reminders and attention to do anything, because I just wanted to talk to my friends and be social and be outside and all of those things.

 

00:34:39:12 - 00:34:59:18

Unknown

So. And I really liked my first grade teacher. I still remember Mrs. Hume. She had this crazy curly hair and she was like the she was an older woman and she really, like, loved my personality. Like she enjoyed that type of kid in her class. Like she's like, you bring like such joy. And that's all of it was like, she's such a joyful kid.

 

00:34:59:18 - 00:35:19:08

Unknown

She makes everyone happy. They didn't talk as much about where I was struggling, but it was like, you do need to remind and you have to sit and you have really have to hold a hand to get anything done. So why they didn't? And then they did put me in a reading thing and it had a totally different name.

 

00:35:19:10 - 00:35:37:17

Unknown

I have to go back. It was like a name that I didn't hear and I was like, what? So I did get. But then I also remember, like, and then I was retested in fourth grade. That's like, you know, the whole class went to Gifted and talented third and fourth grade. So it was multiple times in that school that I was tested that they.

 

00:35:37:19 - 00:36:00:12

Unknown

Didn't like, put anything towards it and give me any help other than that little bit of reading. But then it was like, it like felt like whatever. Yeah. And then in high school and in high school, it was like my mom basically was like, she is drowning. Things are way too hard. This shouldn't be this hard. And and she wants to go to college.

 

00:36:00:12 - 00:36:21:07

Unknown

So like, my mom basically was like pleading with them, but we never did anything outside. But my mom was a teacher in education. So of course you know like that's she's going to be like yes I'm going to trust them. And yeah that might be, that might, that might be your worst mistake ever to say I trust the school.

 

00:36:21:09 - 00:36:38:23

Unknown

Yeah. Oh I it's, it's I had to stop reading it because I was like oh like it literally brought so much because then, and then in high schools when I started doing like special ed shit. But before I was just in the lower stuff, just, you know, I had a one eight, a grade point average. It sees and deeds.

 

00:36:39:00 - 00:36:56:12

Unknown

Remember when 1 or 2 A's or B's, I found my report card for my report cards, you know, on this was like you only got like 65. And Jim, I'm like, yeah, cause you had the right tests. Yeah. Your that was what I had A's in Jim. But my that we didn't have to write any tests. Yeah we had ray tests.

 

00:36:56:13 - 00:37:14:10

Unknown

Yeah. That was my only a that kept me. Thank god if I didn't have it I would have a less than what I had. Yeah. There was like I think chemistry was 25 and I, I, it was you know, we never had, you know, in Canada was always it was a, you know, it was letter grades. Yeah.

 

00:37:14:11 - 00:37:34:09

Unknown

I never you know, it's amazing when I came to, came here to the US, y'all talking about GPA annoyed that man. And then you guys using you know freshman you know sophomore I took me years to I'm like, what if. What the hell is that? No. They're in grade 11. They're in grade ten. They're in grade nine.

 

00:37:34:10 - 00:37:55:06

Unknown

When you get grade 12, what's this? Senior go. Yeah. That's like the metric system you guys are. All Americans are screw things up, I yeah, you guys are the only one. You guys are the only people in the world that use this system. You know, there's one other country somewhere else. Actually, we we we end up looking into this.

 

00:37:55:07 - 00:38:19:04

Unknown

Oh. You did. Yeah. But yeah, because it's actually came up when we went back, you know, when we went back to Canada because obviously, you know, kilometers and we're talking about, you know, pounds over kilograms. And you know, leaders were talking about gas and like you Americans, the one that you know, but I and I didn't know this Canada was the same way till on the 70s and they changed over.

 

00:38:19:06 - 00:38:37:10

Unknown

So they did more because it's that's like a European right. Yeah. And that's why they changed it. Because when America was whatever it was like, we're going to be different than everyone else. Oh yeah. We're going to make things fucking different. Like we're going to have ten words for one thing, meaning, I mean, Jesus, someone who ever talked to my parents, you know, in a group tax there.

 

00:38:37:12 - 00:39:03:07

Unknown

All right. They talking Celsius. You know she's she's always asking are we talking Fahrenheit? Are we talking Celsius? You know, gas prices. You know it's obviously in Canada's leaders and, you know, for leaders to a gallon. So it's yeah, the fact that you had to learn all of that is also like, you know, on all the country, even when you were living in Russia, like all of that, like there's a lot of people that can't adjust and figure it out.

 

00:39:03:09 - 00:39:22:15

Unknown

You know, obviously, I, you know, pretty much the whole world is off the, you know, not off the American system. Right. So I grew up in the non, you know, so going to Europe is like being at home. Yeah. Because that's Canada right. But then you then you live here though then I've you know you know I figured out but I traveled enough enough you know I can I can figure it out, you know.

 

00:39:22:18 - 00:39:46:15

Unknown

Yeah. Temperature you know double it that 32 to get the Fahrenheit. Oh really? Say that again. So if it's a Celsius temperature, you double that temperature and add 32. So it's 30 degrees, right? You double it to 60. Add to and you know add 32 to 92.

 

00:39:46:17 - 00:40:05:15

Unknown

Oh I never knew that okay. That's I, I gotta, I gotta think I, I gotta think about that. On your next vacation when you go somewhere that Celsius. Yeah. No, no. Yeah, yeah. No, I can teach. I love that. But so that it is, it is a. Yeah. So. Yeah, I found that it didn't feel good.

 

00:40:05:15 - 00:40:26:00

Unknown

I had to put it away halfway through. Because it was. I mean, think about it. It was I went 3 or 4 different times again, you know, it's just like when I, I obviously never heard the word dyslexic dyslexia until until that day, you know, until 32 years old and never heard of the world. It's like she never heard that word either.

 

00:40:26:01 - 00:40:54:10

Unknown

Right? So it's so interesting. Yeah. Nobody knew what it was. It wasn't it wasn't a buzz word. It wasn't talked about. It wasn't, you know, when you and I, you know, going to school. But now, that's why we, you know, that's why what we, we do what we do for a reason. Talk about it. And the sad point of this all is nothing has changed from when we were in school.

 

00:40:54:12 - 00:41:26:14

Unknown

So now it's it's maddening, maddening. But I, like we had a good story. We had a positive. And that was awesome. I'm so happy to, you know, hopefully that, she continues that it sounds like she is probably on the, the younger side, of her teaching career. So awesome that she did that, initiative, listened, approached it properly.

 

00:41:26:16 - 00:41:44:13

Unknown

And I just just hope that continues. I know, and I actually will say this and I'm going to say it here and this will probably be out afterwards, but I might even go to back to school just to meet her night. And she did say, I hope I get to meet you back to school night. And I was like, oh, I think I'm traveling.

 

00:41:44:13 - 00:42:03:07

Unknown

I don't think I want to be there. I think I've gone each one time each year for like once for the boys, once for so long I've been out of that, I don't I, I, I get I sweaty, I don't like back to school night because I get like in the school and I'm like, now I get the grandparents nights right.

 

00:42:03:08 - 00:42:11:08

Unknown

So you do. That's right. And but it's funny. And then I start, I go in there and.

 

00:42:11:10 - 00:42:32:19

Unknown

Start analyzing. Right. Because I'm in a school now. Yeah. What are you doing wrong. Like I it's that's what we are. Yeah. All right. Well we're going to leave it at that. I'm going to leave with that. So like review and share because there's a lot of stuff that we said in here that is new to some people.

 

00:42:32:19 - 00:42:41:05

Unknown

And even if it's not new you maybe have heard it like five times and it didn't settle in. And this is the time it settles in like rate review and share.