Episode 162: Dr. Jane Tornatore: Overcoming ADHD and Dyslexia to Become a Therapist and Author

In this episode of Your Next Stop, Dr. Jane Tornatore, an author, therapist, speaker, and ADHD/Dyslexia individual, shares her inspiring story of overcoming adversity to become a successful business woman.

In this episode, you will learn:

1. The power of storytelling to connect us and make us feel not alone
2. How our experiences shape how we see life
3. The importance of knowing your body and choosing the right medication or treatment option for you.

Dr. Jane Tornatore is a brain geek and self-compassion expert based in Seattle, WA. As a psychotherapist, coach, speaker, and author, she works with intelligent, motivated, high-achieving women who are committed to being better people, yet, they never feel better ENOUGH–Women who want to finally like themselves and stop second-guessing their decisions. What separates her from other coaches and therapists is her down to earth, humorous, practical, and SIMPLE approach. Her superpower is seeing what keeps people stuck.  And because of this, her clients become aware of the unconscious beliefs that keep them trapped and unsatisfied, so they can choose thoughts and actions that actually work for them rather than making them feel like crap. She received a Master’s degree at the University of Illinois, and a PhD at the University of Minnesota. She has authored over 20 articles and published a book—Everything is Perfect, Just Not ME! A Roadmap for Self-Acceptance.

Remarkable Quote:

“That's one thing I always say to my kids, listen, I want you to do the best that you can, and there's things I expect from you, and there's things that you know what? It's just it is what it is, and we all need to know our strengths and weaknesses, and it's important, and it's okay to have weaknesses. Weaknesses actually make us stronger in certain things.” - Juliet Hahn

Sponsor

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Find Us Online!

• Website: iamJulietHahn.com
• Instagram: @iamjuliethahn
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• LinkedIn: Juliet Hahn
• FB: @iamjuliethahn
• Fireside: Juliet Hahn
• Clubhouse: @iamjuliethahn
• YouTube: Juliet Hahn

Transcription:

[00:00:00]
Welcome back to another episode of Your Next Stop. I am the host, Juliet Hahn. In this episode, I speak to Dr.

[00:00:09]
Jane Tornatore, an author, therapist, speaker, and she hangs out mostly on LinkedIn Facebook book and her website, which is Everyday Love Me. Really cool episode. Another ADHD dyslexia individual. However she went through and got, she's a therapist, she's a doctor, she's an author. So really fun to go through the journeys in the past, the twists and turns and the pivots waiting to hear what she's doing now.

[00:00:37]
Have you ever been listening to your favorite podcast and that moment comes up and you think, oh, my gosh, I need to share it? Well, now you can with picked Cherries. What I love about Picked Cherries so much is that when I'm listening to my favorite podcast and that moment comes up that I want to share, I can take a Snippet, which is called the Picked Cherry, and I can send that to my friends and family so they can get involved in the podcast that I love. It's almost like sending an IG or a TikTok available now, iOS and Android. If you're not picking cherries, are you really listening to podcasts?

[00:01:12]
Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Your Next Stop. I say it every single time, but I am so excited to bring you into the world of someone that has followed a passion and turned into a business. Welcome, Jane Torrator. How are you?

[00:01:27]
Thank you. I'm great because summer finally started here in Seattle yesterday. I know we've had some crazy weather here in New York, so I just want to shout out to all the listeners where Jane is an author. Everything is perfect, just not me. She's a therapist, she's a speaker, hangs out on LinkedIn.

[00:01:46]
You can find her at her name, which is Jane Janetornatore. You can also find her on Facebook, Everyday Love. You can find the website Everydaylove Me, and on LinkedIn, twitter is her name as well. Those are the main places you hang out, correct, Jane? Awesome.

[00:02:09]
Yeah, except I stopped being on Twitter for a while. So that's pretty much you can see very old post. That's right. They can get a sense of who you are, but so definitely check Jane out. So, Jane, thank you again for joining your next stop.

[00:02:22]
I love to be able to bring my listeners some inspirational stories because it gets people thinking and stories connect us. So I would love for you to tell us a little bit about you. What we always start with is a little bit about where you were brought up. Did you go to university, obviously, because you're a doctor. Did I say?

[00:02:40]
Doctor Jane? I don't think I did. I don't know. I did. Yeah.

[00:02:45]
So I don't think I introduced you as Dr. Dr. Dr. Jane Tornatore. Apologize.

[00:02:51]
So obviously you went to university, so if you can just tell people a little bit about that so they can kind of get a sense of who you are. Yeah. Well, it's interesting because I was just listening to the fabulous podcast with anxiety sisters. Holy cow. I'm just going to put a plug.

[00:03:07]
If you haven't seen it or listen to it, listen to it now. It's so good. Thank you. Wasn't that good? That was really fun.

[00:03:14]
They have a cool story. Yeah. And one of the things I love that came up again and again is it's so helpful to know we're not alone. And that's why storytelling is so powerful, because it gets deep in us. Oh, I'm not the only one.

[00:03:27]
Right. So as I was listening, I'm like, yeah, that's me. That's me too. That's me too. So I grew up in Pennsylvania and I grew up like they were talking about when they first realized they were anxious.

[00:03:38]
I first realized I was anxious in my late fortys. I thought what I was doing was normal. I didn't know everybody else was going, what's that? What's that? What's that?

[00:03:47]
What happened there? That constant hyper virtualis. So I just took that through my life. I grew up in Pennsylvania and then my parents divorced and I moved to Michigan with my mom. And it was so different coming from a very small rural place in Pennsylvania where school closed during opening day of hunting season because nobody would be in school and to move right outside of Detroit.

[00:04:14]
And I'm like, this is a very different environment. So it was wonderful because I got to see just how our experience shapes how we see life. And I was just gone. It was like almost 180 experience for me. So I love that because it gave me a greater understanding of people who haven't had a lot of change in life and people have had a great change in life.

[00:04:38]
So then I went to Carlson College, very tiny, small liberal arts college because my sister went there. I'm so lucky she chose to go to college because I went to visit her during a freshman in high school. And I had beer and I caught brownies and I thought, I'm going here. This place is fun. So this is how I made my decision.

[00:05:00]
Right. So funny. Good decision, though. I mean, especially when you're a freshman in high school, right? Yeah.

[00:05:07]
And it was a fabulous place for me. It was so fabulous. I'm just super smart people, but everybody was also very individualistic and there wasn't a lot of competition. And since I also had ADHD and Dyslexia, I was different. But everybody was different.

[00:05:25]
Right. And they were super smart people there. But there are also a lot of people who also struggled. There were people who seemed like they just sailed on through and studying was easy. And I would study the night before the test.

[00:05:38]
Right. My studying consisted of all nighters because that's the only time I could get motivated to do it when I was scared. Wait list or turn it in late. So with that success in academia, I decided to go to grad school. But that was after five years, because the quote I wrote on my senior yearbook was, papers are the bane of my life.

[00:06:00]
And I was an English major, so all I did was papers, and they were literally the bane of my life. So all my friends are going to grad school, and I'm like, oh, hell no. That was too hard, too much torture. But then I was working in New York City and advertising, and my sister dragged our family to a family therapist, and she started the story with she started the session with this story. She said, My job is to put myself out of business.

[00:06:29]
And I'm like, what? I'm in advertising trying to sell people. I'm like, that's crazy. She said, Well, I mean, I didn't say that out loud, but she said, the more families I help, if they go on to have partners and kids, those families will be healthier. And then if they go on to have partners and kids, those families would be healthier.

[00:06:48]
And she said, pretty soon, health will spread around the world, and I'll be out of a job. But I love that mindset. It's a really cool mindset, though. It's a really cool mindset. And in that session, I said to myself, I'm quitting advertising, which I sucked at, and I'm going to become a therapist.

[00:07:08]
I love that. So I went back to grad school. And you know what? What's so cool about your story? Because I remember when we talked, my listeners know, I touch base and just hear a little bit, see how our energies kind of flow, because I have high energy, obviously, my Dyslexia and my ADHD, and we really connected on that.

[00:07:24]
And what I also want people to hear is we and they know my story. I didn't let that tell my you know, that was a part of my story. It didn't define me. And exactly with you, you're like, I'm going to go back to school. I'm going to become a therapist, because you had an experience that changed your life.

[00:07:41]
So that's what I always say to the listeners and my clients. And people think about experiences that you had when you were younger that really stand out. Sometimes they're good. Sometimes they're bad. But sometimes it's not just a memory.

[00:07:55]
It's really also a feeling. And then that feeling, sometimes you can kind of get that memory. So I love that you were like, you know what? This is what I want to do. Because it really kind of this touched me.

[00:08:06]
This changed me. So you went to grad school and then from there, obviously studied and became a therapist. Take us through that a little bit. Well, I didn't learn I had ADHD till I was writing my dissertation. So unmedicated ADHD, trying to get through school.

[00:08:25]
And I think we shared this in our last talk, but I was literally writing my dissertation. And I'd gone to a therapist earlier on in my grad school career because I was really depressed. And she said, Are you interested in medication? I'm like, no, because if I take medication, then I won't know it's me that healed myself with, oh, my goodness. Poor, poor little woman.

[00:08:49]
I was so as I was writing my dissertation, I was severely depressed again, and I was working it for two years. I was trying to get out of depression. And I went back to her and she said, I know you don't want to do medication. I'm like, oh, yes, yes, please. I do.

[00:09:05]
I really do. I was tapped. I'd done everything I could. And I'm not saying medication is for everybody, and I'm not saying people should take it or should not take it, but for me, in that time, it made me feel like, oh, this is how other people study. They can sit down and they can just focus and they can read and they can write papers, and then they get up and they're done.

[00:09:33]
And they don't have to wait till the last minute. It was like a miracle. A miracle. Did we talk about that? Because I think I was never on medicine until I went to college, and then I did.

[00:09:45]
I remember saying to my mom, I can't get through this. I just can't get through it. I'm going to leave school. And she was like, no, you're not. And I happened to see a show about ADHD.

[00:09:53]
And I said that, she's like, yes, I know. That's what you have. She's like, let's talk to a doctor. And I did. I took ADHD medicine probably for eight years.

[00:10:03]
And then when I got pregnant with my first child, I stopped, because you can't take that kind of medicine when you're pregnant. And then I never went back. And then I turned to homeopathy. And so my family, we all turned to homeopathy, which really works for me. So when I talk to a lot of people, I'm not against medicine.

[00:10:20]
It just needs to be prescribed very specifically. And that's why I would never choose myself to do it for my children until they are of age, where they know their body, they're already through puberty, because we don't know the side effects. However, there are some people, families that I know that are different, they want their child to be on it. Just always think about the kid that's sitting in the class that doesn't have attention deficit, maybe just acts out, and the parents are told it has Ad or she has ADHD, and they're medicating them, and they're zombies because they're not who they are. When I took the ADHD meds, I didn't change.

[00:10:57]
I just was able to focus, and I actually didn't have to study, which was really cool. And that's when I got on the honor roll in college. I was like, this is so bizarre, I've never experienced. And then I realized, oh wait, I'm actually smart and really smart. I just learned different.

[00:11:13]
And so it is one of those things. But people will say, well, how come some of your children specifically, what do you think about meds? And I said, I just specifically wouldn't give it to them when they're under developed. But that's just me. And also we found homeopathy, which really works.

[00:11:32]
You would never even know that one of my children has eight age daily. They are like wait, what? I'm like, I know, but it's because it's controlled with natural medicine. So that's the thing. People need to make that decision themselves.

[00:11:46]
And it really is. You have to also know your body. You need to know because even if their levels are just different and it can be dangerous if you're not going to someone that understands it. So there are many different factors. But I love that you said that and I love that you figured something out that worked, so please continue.

[00:12:05]
Yeah, and like you, I also got off of it because I started developing tremors and I'm like, oh yeah, no, that's probably not a good time. I found other ways, which I'm very grateful for.

[00:12:19]
So it was that point I went, oh, I'm not lazy, it's something happening in my brain. Which was a great gift because I was like, I'm smart, why can't I just sit down and do this? It was like all those nasty messages we give ourselves. But also on the positive side, I know how to get through a lot of hard stuff, right? I had to learn major coping skills to get through college.

[00:12:46]
Just any school. I did a lot of school and I got through almost all of it without medication. Right? One of the things I love about many of my friends is they've gone through some sort of I don't want to say trauma necessarily, but really difficult situation in life and they've come through. And when we do that and once again, I'm not saying you can't medicate your kids or you can't do homeopathy.

[00:13:12]
And all I'm saying is there are always gifts in whatever we choose. For me, I can do really hard things. I've done it. I did it for years. So I just did this with scuba diving.

[00:13:24]
I just learned to scuba dive in the Puget Sound where visibility was one and a half to 3ft. I love that. But the thing is that I think is really cool and this message does come across with a lot of my guests that either have struggled in some sense is that we have failed so many times because of our struggles in school that it's not something we're scared of. If people talk about like, oh, people are scared of failure, I have no scare like no fear of failure. I don't think of failure.

[00:13:53]
When I think of failure, I think, okay, it's going to be a learning experience because I know, like, even just starting your own business, learning the podcast, I'm going to make mistakes, right? I'm going to forget to push record. But I don't look at it as, oh, my gosh, I'm dumb, or, that was bad. I learned, okay, that was something I need to really focus and write down. Okay, don't forget to do these steps and then as you learn them, you continue.

[00:14:14]
So it is a really kind of cool thing. And I know that with my other two children that don't struggle as much, there's times as they were growing up, I would think, oh, they need to struggle more because they're not going to learn the same things. And I feel like that's a positive that I learned. So I love that you scuba dived and you jumped right into that. I wouldn't say that.

[00:14:34]
I now know what a panic attack feels like.

[00:14:38]
When I couldn't see anything, I was like literally one and a half feet out. On my first day, it was green mush, and I'm sitting here underwater breathing by some miracle, I don't quite know how. So it was really fascinating. It gives me great respect for those people who go into dark rooms for a week with no stimulation. Bless you, man.

[00:15:00]
My brain goes wacko with no stimulation. But I was also like, I can do hard things. You can do this, Jane. And now you know what a panic attack feels like. That's going to be great when you work with your clients, right?

[00:15:13]
Right. There's always a positive, right? I got through grad school and then I didn't have the courage to start my own business, so I went into academia instead and I did research. And then after a while, I'm like, I loved it. It was super fun.

[00:15:31]
I was doing statistics and project management and it was super fun and doing studies, but it didn't wake up in the morning going, I am so excited to get to work today. I didn't make any difference in the world. So I was working on a project and it was ending. And I thought, well, now's the time. I either get a new project management job and do more research or I jump into therapy.

[00:15:56]
So I did it. I just like, well, I can do hard things. I can do this. And it was really hard. It was way harder than scuba diving.

[00:16:07]
It brought all my self doubt, all my questioning, all my self worth up because I was doing everything new, right? But I did it. And it was a long road, but I now know I can build a business and I'm pivoting again and I'm like, well, I can do it. It's scary. I'm learning new things.

[00:16:27]
I'm not on this tried and true road, but I can do that too, right? I know you still have clients as well. But how long were you a therapist with a private practice? 18 years now. Yeah, which is really cool.

[00:16:42]
And I know you said that you felt you're calling to really start speaking and really go on stage and really helping people in that aspect too. So tell us a little bit, like when you figured that out, okay, you saw that you could create your practice. You have a successful practice, 18 years. What are some of the things that you now? Like, when was the calling?

[00:17:06]
When was it like, okay, I need to now think about something else? And it's not because when you have ADHD, but really everyone and I hate, like, just putting a label on it, but you get antsy, right? It's like, okay, I want something new. And it's, when is that really the time to do something new? Or when is it that you need to continue to stick out what you're doing?

[00:17:26]
And so I think there's a very fine line with that, and that's hard. Especially people that are impulsive that always want that change or their brain wants the stimulation, it's hard to sometimes be like, okay, but that's where I always go back, that I believe in God. But whether you believe in the universe or God, where are you getting those messages? Like, what is it? You might be antsy, but kind of, where are you getting those feelings?

[00:17:49]
What's happening in front of you? Pay attention. Like, when you're antsy and you're feeling like the struggle is the most important time to really try to get that time into daydream, to walk, to listen, to kind of see what's around you, to see, okay, it's actually time for me to pivot, or it's actually time for me to dig in and focus. Yeah, I love that you just said that, because one of the things I've been working with my clients and me always, because I always do work on myself that I pass on to my clients. But I've really just started noticing we're a culture pushing, do this.

[00:18:25]
What's your goal? Go for your goal. Do it this way. And the older I get, the older the more I realize a lot of stuff doesn't work for me. For me, it's when I feel called, it's when I feel pulled to something that's when it's like, now is the time.

[00:18:41]
Otherwise, it's like my ego going, you should do this in these external messages about what I should do. But when my heart goes or I just feel it's literally, I feel like a pull more this pulled towards that. So it's kind of an expanding feeling versus you should as a contracting feeling, I wait until expansion. But what happened is it took me ten years to build a full private practice, private pay. I got off insurance, so people just pay me and it's all good.

[00:19:13]
I don't have to deal with insurance. And I'm forever grateful that I made that decision. Right? So then I had a full private practice. It took me ten years to do all that.

[00:19:21]
And then six months later, I'm like, oh, gosh, that's kind of cool. Now what? And it was this poll. I wanted to reach more people because I can only see 18 to 20 people a week. As a therapist, I'm like, I got really good stuff.

[00:19:36]
I want to share. It like the therapist that started me on this journey. I want the world to be healthy. The more people I touch with the stuff that I've struggled with and figure it out and read and learned and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, the more I can spend that out, the healthier people are, and then they'll spread it out, and pretty soon we're all out. Of a job, right?

[00:19:56]
I know. Yeah. So I was full, and I was like, yeah, that's done. Yay me. More people, please.

[00:20:04]
So that's when I wrote the book, and that's when I just decided, I just want to be on a bigger stage, right? Which is really cool, because that's what God put you on this earth to take. And that's what I always say to people. You have to think about your steps. Everything that you do is a stepping stone.

[00:20:20]
Sometimes you will be like, Well, I was on the wrong path. And I always say it's not the wrong path. It just is a learning experience that's going to take you to the next path. Right. The next jumping stone, whatever you want to call it.

[00:20:33]
Jumping stone, you know what I mean? I'm thinking of the river and the stones. Yeah. It's really important for people, and that's where I think so many people don't give themselves enough time to really reflect. And that's where I think the fear and the self doubt and all these different things, people are nervous to give themselves that time, to be like, okay, am I doing what I am meant to be doing?

[00:20:57]
Am I feeling called? Am I feeling pulled? But they're scared to explore it, so they just stuff it. Right? And I always say when you stuff it, it's going to come out somewhere.

[00:21:07]
You can't stuff things forever, and it's going to come out and not a great way. Right? I know. It always comes out sideways at the worst possible moment, right? So can you talk a little bit about that?

[00:21:21]
Well, I love what you're saying when you said, reflect, take time, walk in nature or be in nature, because I know you're a brain geek. When we do that, we let our right brain come on board. In my mind, and I'm making this up, so don't quote me on it, but in my mind, our left brain is more of, here's what you should do. Here are the ways to do it. Here are the steps.

[00:21:44]
Do it now. Here's the right way. And are you better? Are you worse? It's always judging and critiquing.

[00:21:48]
I mean, it's great for getting stuff done right, but it's not great for new things and exploring and expanding. That's where our right brain comes in. And we have the right brain when we're in the flow, when we're in nature, when we're doing something we love, when we're in connection with people, our right brain comes on board and goes, have you thought about this? What about this idea? That sounds really cool.

[00:22:11]
I think that's where our poll can come more from. Well, why would I write a book? I hate writing papers in the vein of my life. Don't you remember that? Yeah, but I want to reach more people.

[00:22:22]
That's a right brain thing, and I think we're better people when we have both our left brain and our right brain. Yeah, and I totally agree with you there. And I know when we first talked, because this just brought up the memory you were saying because we were talking about traditional school and how hard it was for you. How hard it was for me. And I've talked about with my one son how frustrating it is, and I'm like, Honey, you just got to get through it, because what you're meant to do is not in this traditional school like earth science and algebra.

[00:22:57]
That's not who you are. You got to get through it. Which sucks, because I've never used algebra in my entire life or science in my entire life after I had to take them and be tortured by them. I didn't want to be a scientist. And so it is one of the really frustrating things that traditional schools still like.

[00:23:14]
Public schools don't get it. Everyone doesn't learn the same everyone doesn't have the same brain. Everyone has different strengths and different weaknesses. And if we can teach that early on, we would have a lot less mental health in the world. And I truly believe that because I really think school is what it is for people, because parents get on kids.

[00:23:35]
That's one thing I always say to my kids, listen, I want you to do the best that you can, and there's things I expect from you, and there's things that you know what? It's just it is what it is, and we all need to know our strengths and weaknesses, and it's important, and it's okay to have weaknesses. Weaknesses actually make us stronger in certain things. They help us in the world. So I know when you were talking about that was like, that traditional school is nothing about the right brain.

[00:23:59]
It's always the left brain. So can you elaborate on that a little bit more?

[00:24:05]
My brain just went blank. I'm like, probably.

[00:24:11]
How do I want to elaborate about that? As you were saying that, I was thinking that's why I love literature, because literature is imagination. I don't know. I found out that not everybody does this, but when you read a book, do you picture it. Do you see it in your brain as you're reading it?

[00:24:26]
I do. Yes, I totally do. But I'm a visual. Like, I need to see things to learn. Yeah, I'm an auditory learner, but I see things when I read, and I think that's one of the reasons, besides the dyslexia, I read so slowly, but I see school, and I'm not a parent, so I don't have the first hand knowledge, but all my friends have kids, but I'm watching his recess is going away, and his stem is the big thing.

[00:24:52]
I'm like, what about art? We had three recesses, which is probably the only reason I made it through grade school. What do you mean? They're cutting out all the right brain activities.

[00:25:07]
Because it's more like, you need to learn this. You need to sit still. But those things for a child is not normal. No, it doesn't. You know the rocking we naturally do with little babies, that movement back and forth?

[00:25:21]
The head if you're seeing your rocking chair and your head is going, that helps us learn. That we learn. And then we do that rock back and forth, and our brain is like, Got it. We're myelinating those neural pathways. We get that stuff.

[00:25:34]
We need movement to learn. If we could all be on bouncy balls instead of on our little desks, I think we'd learn more. Right? And what they do in public school is that's the kids that learn different, they do that just them. But really, everyone would benefit.

[00:25:51]
Everyone would benefit learning the Ordain Gillingham way of teaching reading, but we don't. We do it where it's this is the way everyone should learn to read, but not everyone can learn that way. And it just baffles my mind, and it frustrates me so much. And I've done. I've talked to people.

[00:26:10]
How can you change it? And it's like you're literally banging your head against a brick wall because it's so many systems and so broken in so many areas that sometimes you're like, okay, I don't have a choice to send my kids to private school, whether it's the accessibility, whether it's financial, whatever. There's not one in the area or whatever it is. But my oldest son went to a private school for three years, and the difference, it was like, oh, this is so normal. Yes.

[00:26:39]
People need movement breaks. People need this. It is normal. But even in the workplace, right? I mean, I think covet helps out a little bit, but there are so many things that are just natural that should be done that people ignore, because, again, they're not aware.

[00:26:55]
They're not aware. Okay. I learned best when I'm doing this, or I feel best when I'm doing this. It's just like, let's not let's have our blinders on and just move forward. Yeah.

[00:27:10]
The more I do this work. Juliet I'm just stunned by what we learn is exactly the opposite of what makes us healthy. Happy human beings, right? Like, we learn. Here's how you should read, here's how you should learn.

[00:27:23]
Matt, you should sit down, sit still all day as a little kid. You should do all this, and then you should go to university, and then we feel bad if we don't fit and how many people actually fit? So we're all walking around going, how many people are on anxiety and depression meds? Because I think you're right, we're not listening to that inner call. It's being devalued.

[00:27:46]
And I get it. It's a lot easier if you're a teacher to have every kid doing the same thing. It's a lot easier if you're an employee to have everybody just going, here the expectations, right? I'm on it, right? I won't question it's a lot easier, but it's not healthier.

[00:28:01]
And so the more we take back our own inner knowing, our own strengths, being with our own weaknesses, the world's going to light up. It really is. And I mean, one of the things I did early on in my coaching career and my consulting career, I did a workshop where they kind of evaluated your brain, and it came from and I've talked about this on the podcast before it came from NASA, and it was like, you don't want the same brain in the space shuttle, right? I mean, you don't want that because you want all these different brains. And there was probably 13 of us and maybe two of us.

[00:28:35]
I'm a direction changer, so I can change direction really quickly. I can talk about a conversation here, but I can go back to the beginning, and I can go to the left. I can go to the right and come back to the top and come back to the bottom. And there's people that are just left to right brains or right to left brains or top to bottom brains. And it's really cool when you're in that and thinking about it and then working with certain people, you're like, that's so interesting.

[00:28:58]
I see how that works. I worked with a lot of bottom liners, and it was really funny because I would be changing direction, and they'd be like, okay, what's the point? And I'm like, oh, I'm getting to it. Or the left or right or there's a specialist brain, which is actually a very unique brain. There's not a lot of specialist brains.

[00:29:19]
Those are the people that want to dig deep all the way to the bottom. They just have one focus, and it's hard for them to shift. Now, think about those brains because we all have those brains. Think about those in a classroom. Think about the kid that's the specialist that just wants to learn so much about math.

[00:29:36]
They just want to get to the deep core of it. Think about the direction thinker that just needs its brain to kind of be moving around. And direction changer doesn't mean that you have ADHD. It's just this is not anything like that. Think about the kid that wants the left to right.

[00:29:51]
Think about the bonablinder kid that's listening to the faster talk.

[00:29:58]
It's one of those things that I think that NASA is doing a great thing, but I think it needs to be brought to a lot of different places. And it's like, okay, these are the brains. How can we get the best out of each brain? So, like, teams really should do that, especially like in corporations. They do it in corporations.

[00:30:15]
The team that the group that actually worked with us does it. They go around and they do that because it's like, okay, you want all of these different brains on the team because you're going to have a much better outcome and a better bottom line if you have all these different things. Like, I'm really good at coming up with ideas. That's like part of my direction changing. I can come up with big ideas.

[00:30:39]
Now, am I the one that's also like, okay, this is how you execute it? No, I come up with a big idea and then if I had an executor, a specialist or a bottom liner on the team, they would say, okay, that's great. This is how we're going to do it. Awesome. Yeah.

[00:30:54]
Now, as you're saying, I'm trying to think of what my brain is. My brain. I don't know if I come up with big ideas, but I'm the one who says, well, why do we have to do it that way? Who made up that rule? Right?

[00:31:07]
Why is that the way? I may not necessarily come up with the idea. I'm like, people, this is not working. Let's try something new. Anything new.

[00:31:15]
Let's do something new. Right? No, I love that. I don't know where that fits in that, but I can just see that this is not working. Right.

[00:31:24]
And you're like, we need to change it. But that's, I think, part of why you became a therapist, right, that clicked for you and you were like, oh, that's interesting. I can kind of help people fix problems, right? I can kind of give them ideas. I realized, I don't know, maybe about a year ago.

[00:31:40]
My superpower is I see what blocks people. I see what's getting in the way, and then I help them bring it to consciousness so they have choice. And that's amazing. That's it. I see the problem.

[00:31:53]
Okay, here it is. Yay. Let's do something, right? Right? Because that's not my job, right?

[00:32:00]
You give people ideas. You give them ideas and practices and this is what you need to do. All right, so that's awesome. So tell us a little bit about the book and then what you're doing now and what the Pivot is and where you're speaking and how you're helping people there, right? So I wrote the book.

[00:32:17]
Everything is perfect. Just not me. A roadmap for self compassion or for self acceptance. If I were to do it now, I'd be self compassion. But I wrote it because it's all the stuff I work with my clients, they're just ways to just be kinder to ourselves.

[00:32:30]
Because one of these rules is if I beat myself up, I'll get to where I should be faster, where it actually slows us down. So it's a way to be kinder, more self compassionate, to expand our awareness so we can move to where we want to be. And right now I'm right in the process. Completely new. I don't even have anything set up.

[00:32:50]
This is hot off the presses. I'm moving also into coaching. And I like to do slow transitions. I will keep doing therapy and I may always keep doing therapy, but I want to reach do more groups, especially like women, because women in groups are so powerful. So powerful.

[00:33:09]
So powerful. So I'm going to do that. And I just came up with a new name. You want to hear it? Yes.

[00:33:15]
Head and heart coaching. I love that. Head and heart coaching. Yeah, because that's what we do, the brain. But we also have the calling, the inner knowing, intuition, our connection to God.

[00:33:26]
And I like melding both head and heart. I mean I love that because that is so much. And people sometimes there's a disconnect. Right. It's like people will say just listen to your gut, don't listen to your head.

[00:33:38]
Or just listen to your heart. Don't listen to this. And so you're combining the two. Exactly. And it's like we were talking about the schools.

[00:33:46]
They're focused on the head. Their job is not to focus on the heart. It would be super awesome if there were more of that in there. And hopefully there will be more of that in there. But we are happiest like left brain, right brain.

[00:33:58]
We are happiest healthiest when we're accessing our brilliant brain and our amazing heart. I love that. Jane, again, people can find you LinkedIn, Facebook, they can also find you on your website everyday Love me. And they can follow what you're doing. Do you do virtual therapy or is it just in your area?

[00:34:21]
I do virtual. Yeah, so it can be broad. So if this episode you really connected to Jane or you know someone that needs a therapist and you're like, you know what, put them in touch with Jane so she can doctor. I'm sorry I keep calling you Jane and now I should be calling you. Jane is totally fine, doctor.

[00:34:39]
Because I had to, right? Yeah, but I mean you earned that going to school and do you go by Doctor Jane or do you go by doctor? I think Dr. Jane is much more fun because Dr. Tornado sounds so professional.

[00:34:55]
Superstit and professional. Yes. Right. And professional is not. Well, I am professional.

[00:35:00]
I like the humor and the connection and the irreverence. I think that's more right brain stuff that breaks us out of our old boxes to connect with who we really are and who we're here to be. I love that. I love that. Well, thank you so much for joining your next stop and sharing your story, guys.

[00:35:19]
You know what to do. I say it every time, but you might not need to hear this episode. You maybe are like, that was a great episode, but it didn't resonate with you because you're in a great space. Or you're like, oh, that was interesting, but there's someone out there that needs to hear this episode. There's someone in your life that needs to hear this because they are not in a great space, or they need a little motivation or they need a little kick in the butt.

[00:35:42]
So please take this episode and share it with as many people as you can so they can learn how to change themselves. Right? We talked about a lot of different things. We talked about really being aware of what your thoughts are. Jane and I talked about our struggles and how we overcame them, and they don't define us.

[00:36:01]
Some people need to hear that because a lot of people out there think, oh, that's my struggle, or, this is my trauma. And they're letting them. I guess you'd say those experiences define who they are. So send it out to everyone, like share, rate, and review, and we will see you guys next week. I hope you liked this episode of your Next Stop.

[00:36:24]
Please subscribe to my channel, share with your friends, and join in each week you.