S3E26: Summertime Blues - Giving Kids With Learning Differences a Break

Want to unlock a better understanding of your child's struggles in school and advocate for their needs more effectively? Get ready to discover the solution that will help you achieve that result.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:00:02 - Introduction and Five D's of Learning Disabilities 

00:01:36 - New Legislation and School Initiatives 

00:05:46 - The Summer Break and Mental Health 

00:09:53 - Understanding the Struggles of School 

00:14:14 - Understanding Your Child's Needs 

00:15:19 - Balancing Structure and Enjoyment 

00:18:21 - Finding Joy in Activities 

00:22:26 - Less is More 

00:25:31 - Balancing Education and Enjoyment 

00:26:32 - Early Education Challenges 

00:27:00 - Importance of Self-Esteem 

00:28:18 - Navigating School Support 

00:31:19 - Understanding the Child 

00:36:30 - Listening to Children 

00:38:28 - Childhood Perceptions and Judgments 

00:39:36 - Early Reading Abilities 

00:40:10 - School Preferences and Insight 

00:40:57 - Newsletter and Insight 

00:41:25 - End of School Year and Summer Plans

 

Transcript:

00:00:02
Welcome back to Word Blindness, Dyslexia Exposed. This is Juliet Hahn here with my co host, Brent Sopal. How are you? There's a little sing songy. Well, should we enlighten the crowd as we.

00:00:16
As you go ahead. We're short record you hit. You're with it. Well, that is never the case.

00:00:24
I'm very with it. I might not be all with it, but I can put your definition with it. Let's just start there. I don't know. And I.

00:00:33
This is gonna go out. So the last week was discalculia, which we. I already posted a couple. I'm gonna start with this really quickly. I already posted a couple clips because it's so interesting how many people that we talked to.

00:00:48
I just talked to like three different parents that were like, wait, I don't even know what you're saying. What are the words that you're saying? And their kids just got diagnosed with dyslexia. And I'm like, okay, who diagnosed if you don't know those words? Well, we can, you know, not touching upon that, you know, you know, the dyscalculia.

00:01:05
You obviously. Let's just cover the five D's. Right. Dyslexia, dysgraphia. Right.

00:01:12
The writing portion. Dyscalculia, the mass portion, dyspraxia, the verbal portion and adhd. Obviously. You know, we all know. Talk about four.

00:01:24
You know, it's an interesting lead. Lead into. We weren't even going to talk about this, but New York starting that.

00:01:36
I don't know where you're going. So you gotta, you know, they're starting the dyslexia dysgraphia. Oh, right. The legislation. Legislation that they've been trying to get done for a little while.

00:01:47
Which. Right. Is. Is we're. We're diving into it.

00:01:52
It's very interesting. There's a senator. Right. Is he a senator or congressman? I think he's a crime.

00:01:57
I know. I'm not going to try to. I'm not going to go into the history of my politics because I don't. He's just someone. Yeah.

00:02:04
I don't think he's a center. I think he's a. He's a, you know, a governor of one, you know, one of the districts. Yes. Something.

00:02:10
And he's. They're starting the discographia dyslexia Senate or it was a center. And then there's. Yeah. And then there's a new school that's also coming out that we've heard a number of people and I think it's a charter school.

00:02:26
Not 100%. There's a new charter school. And then there's also, I think, a private school that are by someone else. And so we started looking a little bit into them. But that brought up, you know, it's so interesting because if you look at the percentages and this is what we talked on last week's episode, so we're not going to go too much into it, but a lot of people have reached out and been like, oh my gosh.

00:02:47
Especially when I posted that clip of you explaining each of the five Ds and how you explain it. Because so many parents. And literally just the last two weeks, I've had three different parents that were like, I don't know what you're saying. And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like, okay.

00:03:02
They just got diagnosed and it. And so I broke it down and they're like, oh, wait, but they do have this. And then it's like, well, who got, who did you go to get tested? Did. And they were always in the school.

00:03:16
And it is like, okay, because then you have to break it down for the parent. Right? And it is, it's so rewarding to hear when a parent says, and you've been, you know, again, been doing this. I've been talking to like parents small scale. You talk to people every single day.

00:03:35
It is so rewarding when they say, oh my gosh, I tHahnk you so much. Like, I just was able to talk and someone says, I understand. And that, you know, again, that's why we do this podcast. That's why we always, you know, the understanding is such an important thing. And that is like the depths of who you are, you know, like with your newsletter, if you guys are not a part of Brent's newsletter on LinkedIn or at the website sopolfoundation.org you can put your email in.

00:04:02
Brett. Brent does an a newsletter and it's called Misunderstood. And sometimes it's just updating on things that's happening with the foundation, but other times it's like an experience that has happened and it is the misunderstanding that happens all the time. And some weeks it's, it's more exhausting tHahn others. This week I've had a week because of.

00:04:27
Right just there. And you've had a week. I mean, I believe there's something in the universe, but we'll just keep imagining it's, you know, Uranus is in the wrong spot or whatever. Whatever you call. I'm not going to get into.

00:04:39
Right. But there retrograde that's what it is. Yeah. There. I've heard.

00:04:43
I haven't heard about retrograde lately. What's going on over there, because that's coming in July. But no, there's. There's a planet that's moving into a position that hasn't happened in 30 years. So.

00:04:53
And I'm not going to get to it, but. So there's a lot of people. Hahng on. How the fuck do you know that? From the astrologists.

00:05:05
So anyways, so there is a lot. If you, if everyone thinks about. They're like, oh, my God, she has a point. It's been a shit show for the last couple of weeks. It.

00:05:15
So talking to these parents as they're like ending school. Yeah. Thinking about next school. And. And we wanted to talk about the summer because this is where everyone goes like nutso, right?

00:05:24
It's like, oh, my God, I can't let them lose too much. I can't let them, you know, I need to keep tutoring them. The other episode when we talk, talked about at what cost? That's another one. We got so many parents and so many people, you know, just sending messages and, and really talking in the post that we did.

00:05:46
Oh, my gosh. I never thought about this way or tHahnk you for saying this because I felt like I was wrong. Right. You know, it's the summertime. Let's just be clear.

00:05:59
If you got any of the five D's. School isn't easy.

00:06:07
School's a hard place. You're misunderstood. Even if you do get good grades, you're not fully understood. You know, if that's just straight, you know, adhd or if that's straight dyslexia, or it's a combination of two to three, or you're four out of five like myself. School isn't a place where we feel comfortable, where we strive, you know?

00:06:33
You know, we talked about, you know, so. And so my son or daughter gets 90s. It's just. But she stays up to 4am, right. At what cost does that.

00:06:47
You know, and obviously that was last week's episode. At what cost does it take to get to those. So it's summertime.

00:06:58
Just let go of school. Let them breathe. Let them breathe. If. If that's swimming, which Swimming sucks.

00:07:11
You ever seen a rock swim?

00:07:14
That's how Brent swims.

00:07:18
We all have our strengths. Oh, yeah. Where you grew up, it was ice instead. Swimming is not, you know, is it track? Is it just playing in the sandbox?

00:07:35
You know, it's. You take a look at, you know, how Many times, you know, you're working, you, you needed a vacation, right? You needed a mental break from work. That's what the kids need from school.

00:07:51
It is as much as, you know, a 4th grader, a 5th grader, or, you know, 2nd grader, an 8th grader, or, you know, 9th grader, as you guys. Took me years to figure out this. You guys call them a freshman. It's a job going to school when you don't fit in somewhere, when you don't feel comfortable walking in those doors. It's a job.

00:08:23
Let them just decompress, let them play sports, have fun, you know, run wild. You know, use that term however you want to use it. But it's. They just need to get away. They need to get away of the like, for me, it would be, Was it eight months?

00:08:50
School.

00:08:53
August, September, October, November, December, January, February, March, April, May. 10 months. 10 months. No. Yeah.

00:09:05
10 months. Holy. So think of 10 months of, you know, obviously electric chair. Of torture. Of 10 months of stress, of not being heard, not being understood.

00:09:20
Not understanding. That's what the next two months is. Just to kind of think of it as a. The bathtub. You know, you're just draining it for next two months.

00:09:31
Because then when they go back next year, you get 10 more months of not being understood, not feeling comfortable. Why doesn't this girl like me? Why doesn't this boy like me? Why can't I have this friend? Why can't I do this?

00:09:45
Why do I have to go to this class? Why do I have to leave in the middle of this class? You know?

00:09:53
You know, in the last two years, how many, how many things have you and I figured out about ourselves having these conversations? So many. It's like fucking epipHahny after epipHahny. I'm exhausted. But it's.

00:10:06
Yeah. Kids don't know the point of figuring out why I didn't take a pregame nap while I played an 18 year pro and did something that only 1200 people in the history of the world have ever done. It took me to fucking 45 years old or whatever it was to figure that out. So these kids don't know.

00:10:31
Just let them be.

00:10:35
They may be in the corner trying to pile marbles on top of each other or they're taking a popsicle stick and who knows, what if it's my dog probably putting her butt and dragging it down the hallway, but they just need to be kids because for the last 10 months they weren't allowed to be.

00:11:04
And it's not, you know, it's because they had to go to school. That's why they weren't allowed to be. You know, it's got nothing to do with it. You know, as parents, it's. We always know we had to go back in those doors at school.

00:11:22
Yep. I was gonna say, because I know parents right now. And so I'm gonna. I know there's so many moms and dads, mainly moms that are listening to this, being like, I can't do that. They're gonna get behind and, oh, my God, what about a schedule?

00:11:35
What about this? What about that? So I want you to take a breath. You're sitting here listening and starting to tweak because you're like, I can't do that. I.

00:11:45
But, you know, the school told me if I don't. If they take a break, they're gonna go behind and behind and behind. And then you guys talk about self esteem and all of these things, so. And also, I'm thinking about where my kids were raised. Where your kids were raised.

00:12:02
The. It's not just an area that you're just like, people are just b. They don't let people. Kids be. Because it's like, well, no, they have to do this.

00:12:12
They have to do this. But I want you to think about this for a moment. Okay. Because we. And I'm not saying that I did it better, but I did it for Montgomery because I knew what I needed.

00:12:24
So I was able to be like, you know what? This. I'm. I'm not throwing this down his throat. We talked about, you know, I didn't.

00:12:33
We didn't do tutoring after school. And there was a lot of parents that were like, okay, but you just said he was struggling so much, so why wouldn't you give him, like, why. That's mean, right? They thought it was mean that I didn't do it. And I was like, no, he needs to go play sports.

00:12:46
He needs to do something that he is good at, that he loves. And instead of doing something all the time, yes, there is a part that can strengthen. Go ahead. No, I was just going to add, you know, for a visual purpose to what you just said is doing extreme tutoring for kids, you know, that are struggling with dyslexia. It's not the same thing.

00:13:05
Struggling for a kid with dyslexia doesn't mean the same thing as a kid struggling without dyslexia. Right? That is a great point. Absolutely great point. When you say tutoring after, just think of a sitting there for another hour with a needle Poking the kid with dyslexia.

00:13:27
Not poking them, poking them, poking them, poking them. Now, a kid without, you know, and I should refer as, you know, the kid with, you know, the five Ds, one of the five Ds, poking, you know, with a pin every time, you know, just non stop for an hour. Now, a kid struggling without the 5Ds in school, there's no pen or. Excuse me, no pin. Right?

00:13:54
They're two, they're two different, two different things. Completely different things. So I just wanted to paint that picture a little bit. No, again, it's so true because it's such a fine line. But you have to give the kid with some of the five D's a break just to decompress.

00:14:14
And you also need to find that thing that they're good at. So like a parent right now might be like, yeah, but I need them in that tutoring thing. I need them because they feel behind. They are asking for tutoring, they're asking for this, they're asking that. It is a very individual thing.

00:14:28
But if your kid is a kid that kicks and screen and does is like, oh, I got to do this again. And you see them slowly shrinking. And you see them slowly shrinking, you're doing the wrong thing. And I'm not. I don't mean to call you out on it.

00:14:40
There's some kids that want it. I have a niece that is like, she wants it because she hates feeling behind. And she's like, I want that. Now, I'm not saying that that's good or bad, but she doesn't kick and scream to go. She'd rather do that tHahn sports.

00:14:52
She actually, like, feels confident doing it. She's like, okay, I get it now, now. And, and there's a different diagnosis. So, like, you have to know your kid. If your kid is like, you know, screaming or just like, you could see them just shrinking and just feeling like you have, you can't do it.

00:15:09
You have to give them something else. So put them in the camp that is the, you know, the sports camp. Put like, if you're like, no, I work. What I need them to do something. We're not saying, not do anything.

00:15:19
We're not like, I know we were saying in the sandbox, but like, yes, you can still have the structure if that's something that's tweaking you and you're like, oh my God, but I have to do that. I don't have time. I need to do this. There's many other things tHahn the tutoring and then the after school or the summer school, all of those things. Like it's.

00:15:36
You have to think about your child and their brain and their. Yeah, the structure, I think is, you know, the structure. The structure is fine. I think you made a great point is, you know, if you need structure, if you. If you've got to work, you know, putting them in things is no problem.

00:15:54
I don't mean them when I mean just be. Is not you doing school, you know. And I think obviously that's why the foundation obviously is very different tHahn everybody else's self esteem. Right. As you just mentioned, if.

00:16:12
If you're putting a kid into something, you know, that they. That they struggle in, you know, and they're looking at hide. I do this again, you know, they just kind of do that. Are they gonna. Are they learning anything rather tHahn, oh my God, I get to go and do.

00:16:30
Right. So yeah, they can go and play camps or. Or whatever it is. It's. It's more when we let.

00:16:40
When I mean let them be is. Let them get away from school. Yeah. I. I mean, there's other things that like.

00:16:47
I also, you know, I knew so many friends that did the piano and they fucking hated it. And they used to fight with their parents all the time and their parents. I mean, I still. Again, the towns that I grew up. And that's something you did because the piano strengths in something.

00:17:01
There's all these philosophies. Okay. I truly believe. What do you strengthen in piano? I.

00:17:06
It's like a. I. You're asking the wrong person. Because I did not have to take piano. I got a few good things I could say.

00:17:14
Say. What are you gonna say, twinkle toes? Or. Well, like what there. I.

00:17:20
I don't know what you. That's okay. I don't know why I said say it. I don't know why I thought.

00:17:28
There is something with the brain Hahnd coordination. There is something that piano is supposed to be like chess. There's things that are supposed to be really good for a kid in development. That there are. The scientists have say.

00:17:40
So there's certain environments that people do it because it's like, oh, wait, imagine that. The scientists said that. Yeah. Let's follow scientists again. If they enjoy it.

00:17:51
Right. That's great. That is what we're talking about, right? If your kid enjoys playing piano. Great.

00:17:59
That is awesome. You know, I'd rather put my head through a barbed wire fence and spin it around. And that's. But that's. To me, that's school.

00:18:07
Right? So if they Enjoy it. Obviously I make fun of things and have fun with things, but if they're enjoying something, it's easy. It's self esteem. It's so.

00:18:21
It's the self esteem. And I don't mean to interrupt you because this is the thing, because there's parents out there that are like, well, you can't enjoy everything. Right? You're not supposed to enjoy. You're supposed to do things that are not there.

00:18:32
That's how society has said we are supposed to do things. But that's actually not correct. I actually. And that's why. Go ahead.

00:18:38
No, no, I don't mean to cut you off because you just, you said. I remember you saying, I think it might have been last week you said my job isn't a job because I enjoy it. Yeah. Am I right? Yeah.

00:18:51
So you said I'm learning so much, you know, about, you know, with Fed Tech and the research world. I'm enjoying it. You know, I'm working a lot, but it doesn't feel like I'm working. Correct? Is that what you said?

00:19:05
Yeah. So to your point, that's what I mean to cut you off. To your point is you're learning all this stuff, but you're enjoying it. So it's not a, it's, it's a different, it's a different firing of the brain. It's like, I enjoy doing cocaine makes you feel good rather tHahn a downer tHahn smoking weed.

00:19:30
Right. That wasn't. So I'm. What am I going to do more of? Right?

00:19:34
Things that make you feel good. Right. So you're. It's not a, it's not a job to you anymore, right. What do they always say?

00:19:41
If you do a job that you love, it's not a job. Right. But in society we are taught sometimes you have to do things that you don't like. And certain personalities, you're actually not supposed to do things you're not supposed to like because it brings you down. And then when you get brought down, you're bringing others down.

00:19:56
So like think about a kid in that sense. Like, yes, there's things sometimes that we have to do because it's life. Right. I don't like to do the laundry. I don't like to do the dishes.

00:20:09
But I have children and I decided to have them. So I, you know, that's like make them do it. Actually. They, they actually do all of it now. That's part of their job.

00:20:20
Kids. Yeah, right. I don't. Do I? And I'm also not good at those Two things.

00:20:25
So then everyone else is like, oh, we'll do it. Oh, you probably do that purposely. Just pretend you're bad at it. Yeah. I actually got a.

00:20:33
I got a good stain out. And everyone was like, mom's not gonna be able to do it. And I was like, everyone go off. I can get stains out. And I did get a good stain out.

00:20:39
And I was. I was like, okay, everyone needs to now say sorry. I was. They were very imp. I did get a stain out.

00:20:44
Wow, look at you. Yeah. No, I. Number one stain remover. Yeah.

00:20:49
Yeah. And even I did like, a whole, like a different technique. I was like, I think this is going to take the stain out. No. 1.

00:20:54
They were like, no way. No way. The way I do laundry. My dog fucking snores. Like, oh, so loud.

00:21:02
I can't. I can't hear her. Oh, yeah. She's like, this thing is unbelievable. She's so happy right now.

00:21:09
Oh, she snores louder tHahn grandma. I don't snore. Oh, yeah, okay. I don't snore. Well, this thing snores.

00:21:18
This thing falls asleep in a second on your lap. It's good to be a dog. But there is a very fine line. And there's things, yes. That we have to do, but really when it comes to kid and when it comes to adults, like, if you hate something so much as you always say, you're not gonna learn.

00:21:34
You're not gonna retain anything, you're gonna be pissed off. So, like, what is the fucking point? So let's think about this. There. It's that fine line.

00:21:42
But knowing your kid, knowing, okay, is this good for them? Is it not good for them? Not just doing it because you're being told that you have to do that. That's like the self awareness that we talk about that. You know, as you said the last two years, the things that we were like, oh, interesting.

00:21:59
Okay, that's why I do that. Or this is what. You know, there's so many different things that people just go through the motions in life. Oh, I was told by the school I have to do this. Oh, I was told by the doctor I have to do this.

00:22:10
No, stop and think for a second for yourself and think about the others around you. Is it actually what you need or is it something else? Well, you know, it's. And we all want the best for our kids, of course. And we're all, oh, I want to.

00:22:26
I'm gonna put my kid in, you know, you know, piano, for example. Or we're putting you an Extra tutoring because we want the best for the kids. We never want the kids. We understand completely and that's why we do this. That's why we talk about this.

00:22:40
That's why, you know, the 5Ds are where they were in the world. It's because it's the scientists and the people that don't have it are telling you what to do. Right. So if you have confidence, if you got self esteem, you're going to succeed.

00:22:58
So jamming an apple down your throat when you're allergic to apples usually doesn't work out too well.

00:23:09
Cutting up in little pieces makes it a little easier. So. Yes. Are some of the stuff we're saying, is it opposite of what you're being told? Yes.

00:23:21
Are we trying to do, are we saying this stuff to do to be defiant or, you know, to be different? No, no, no. And there's going to be people that are like, okay, well what do we do? Right? So like, if my kid is behind, what do I do?

00:23:37
If they, you know, they are doing Wilson during school and it is succeeding, like, what do I do in the summer? So let's, let's talk. You know, you just brought up, you know, a great point. I mean, jump in on it. My kid, my, my girls did Wilson.

00:23:51
They hated it.

00:23:55
So when you go into do reading programs for dyslexia, it is very tedious. It is very slow.

00:24:06
It's hard, hard sliding, you know. So they're happy. They did it now, right? Being 21 and 23 years old, they're ecstatic. They did it now.

00:24:20
Was it painful back then? Yeah. So sometimes less is more. And that's what we're trying to say. In the summertime, they're struggling.

00:24:29
Okay.

00:24:32
Are you making it further by doing something painful three days a week on one day? So, so, and then doing something fun that they, they choose. Right? I didn't mean to interrupt you, but. No, no, you're 100%.

00:24:52
That makes them smile because you know how many people quit their job because they hate going to the office every day, or they hate the people they work with, or they hate their boss.

00:25:11
Same thing with school.

00:25:16
And, and so also these are the, the things to think about. So as Brent said, like, if it's something that your kid is in the middle of and you're like, well, what do I do? But they hate it, hate it. And it's a fight because it's also exhausting, right? Being the parent fighting all the time, I mean, that's exhausting.

00:25:31
And so you need to kind of Think about that. As he said, maybe do it one day a week. But then, hey, what camp do you want to do? If you do this one day a week, you get to pick your camp. Right.

00:25:39
Or you get to pick the activity that we could do afterwards. So making it like you have to do this and the reason why you have to do now is because you are behind because you're dyslexic. And having a conversation with them like this is going to make things easier. I know it doesn't seem like it, but don't do it every day. Right.

00:25:56
Don't do the five days. Don't do it where it's just that. And then I know with your girls, you guys did it a little different. Like with Montgomery, I did not do any tutoring. Then we sent him to the private school that was all Orton Gillingham.

00:26:09
Right. But that's like very unrealistic for most people. We were just very fortunate that that's what it did. But I knew I wasn't going to have him being tutored after school. I knew in the morning to get him to school before Hahn was in the city already I had two babies.

00:26:21
I couldn't like get him to school before. So it just, that would have been a shit show too. So I was like, okay, how are we going to do this? It figured itself out. We were very fortunate.

00:26:32
But then we left the, you know, the private school before he was finished. And we just happened to. When he was going into middle school, seventh grade, there was a teacher that was like a resource room or a study hall teacher that knew about Orton Gillingham and was like, you know what? I'm going to work with him. And we just, just, we're fortunate.

00:26:50
There's not like, I can't say how fortunate we were, but that's not going to happen all the time. So you have to again think about your kid. Think about what's. What is the best. Like do your research, do your studying.

00:27:00
But also it comes down to that self esteem. Yeah. And my girls, it was, we did it before school. Yeah. Was.

00:27:11
Would it would have been torture any which way, you know, right before school, middle school during day. Because yo. And we talk about this, we weren't pulling. And Lila did get pulled out of, out of math a lot of times. So guess what?

00:27:28
She's terrible at math. Well, that's right. Yeah. So it's, it's six of these half dozen lows. Like, you know, you're struggling with reading, but we're going to pull them out of math.

00:27:39
You know, so what sense does that make? So we're probably going to be struggling at two things rather tHahn one. I'm not good at math, so. And then when. If they have dyscalculia, then real.

00:27:50
It's like a double whammy. Right. So I always, you know, for me, you know, you and I talk about never pull the kid out of a class to go into another one to, to work on that, especially when you're dyslexic. We're never going to be readers. That's just not happening.

00:28:09
Can we get a little bit better? Yeah. So why. Why sacrifice one for the other. And it's sacrifice more tHahn one.

00:28:18
The other is sacrifice. Leaving. Walking out of a class. Where are you going? Why are you leaving?

00:28:26
Oh, you're going to the dumb, dumb room. Oh, you're just dumb. Those are the things that get said. And again, this is, you know, sometimes when you're in the public school or private school, your kid doesn't have a choice because that's what they're going to do is pull out if that's how they do it. And it's a fight.

00:28:44
And sometimes you can't. You know, I know in the school that Montgomery was in, gifted and talented kids got pulled out as well. So it was like you didn't know where you were going. Everyone kind of like, especially. But these are, these are the questions you have to ask.

00:28:58
Like, these are the questions you have to ask. And again, what is best for your child? Not because the school's going to tell you, right? They're going to tell you what they do. But wait a second, is that, is that going to be the best for my kid?

00:29:10
How about we do this? Or like you said, they get tutored in the morning before instead of getting pulled out. I would rather do that. That works for our family better. They're going to say no, but you can fight for that.

00:29:21
That is something that you can fight for. You tell them, and that's what you end up having, a 504 and IEP. You tell them. Yeah. Do not let them tell you.

00:29:31
Yeah, exactly. What works for your kid, you know, and question. You know, as you said, you know, the kids are lifted, left for gifted and talented and, you know, the. Whatever, you know, the slow readers, they still know you left, right? Yeah, they still don't.

00:29:48
I have to say, though, Montgomery actually, he would say he would sometimes like to leave because it was a break and because no one knew where he was going. But as you said, if you're the only person Getting pulled out. We were also fortunate with technology, like it was when he was young. So everyone's like, wait, why do you get an iPad? That's so cool.

00:30:08
Right? But then there's a certain age that it's not cool anymore. And Lila was the opposite. Right. She hated that.

00:30:13
She was just graph. She was the only one. So this is pre technology, right. She was the only one that had it. Why do you have it?

00:30:20
Why am I that kid? Why am I the only one kid, Right. So, you know, Montgomery, obviously, for the most part, you know, kids are mean, right? Kids aren't. Yeah.

00:30:32
Right. So they usually take the opposite. Right. Not. Well, that's cool, right?

00:30:36
Why are you the one. Hey, what's wrong with you? Why are you different? You know what's wrong? They usually take that route.

00:30:43
And Lila was that one. She wouldn't, you know, she had dysgraphia and she wouldn't use her computer. Right. But she also, if you think about who you were, she was also center of attentions in different. In different ways.

00:30:55
Right. So, like, I could that have had also, like, you know. Oh, yeah. My kids obviously grew up. Grew up.

00:31:02
Very different tHahn. Yeah. That portion that, you know, that perspective. Everybody knew who we are wherever we went and why. And.

00:31:09
Right. So that's like, oh, my God, now I'm being, you know, now everyone knows about this and that. So, like, that's really. That's different. But that's why it's important to know about it for your child.

00:31:19
Like, talk to your child. Ask them, like, hey, what did you like in school today? Or what do you like and what don't you like? But just getting these kind of senses of knowing who they are, you're able to then navigate these. And as Brent said, with the 504 and IEP, you can say, no, no, I'm not doing that.

00:31:35
Like, you know, there's a. One of the times there was a teacher that was the special ed teacher for math, and Montgomery had had her. And he. He's like, she talks to me like I am deaf and like, I'm a dummy. He's like, I cannot deal with this again.

00:31:53
So the next year, we didn't have a choice. I was like, I'm putting him on grade level. I was like, dude, he's like, mom, I would so much rather. I don't care. I probably am going to fail.

00:32:01
But if I have to deal with her one more time. And instead of him not saying anything, right. Like, if he didn't say anything, he would have been put in there. And he said. He's like, sure.

00:32:08
She makes me feel so bad about myself. Like, I mean, I think there was one day she called, and this is like, when they were in middle school. And she said, okay, so he's not getting this. And I keep explaining it. I'm like, are you explaining it different?

00:32:20
She's like, well, no, I'm explaining it the same way, just slower. And I'm like, what? She's like. And then I offer what I am saying, yes, totally. And then she said.

00:32:32
And then, like, if. If, like, the kids get it, I offer them a snack. I was like, they're not dogs. Are you? I was like, oh, my God.

00:32:43
I was like, oh. I said to him. I was like, honey, I'm so sorry that you even had to deal with this, Freeman. You know, we pulled him out, I think, half of the year. I was like, nope, you're putting them in the other.

00:32:51
Like, Ms. Hahn, he hasn't even learned that. And I was like, we're fine. I was like, he. You know what?

00:32:57
He's. You're missing the point where the good snacks. No, not even good snacks. Oh, that's terrible. Then like, dry pretzels or something.

00:33:06
Something like, so st. Something that you'd eat some unreal chocolate. Oh, I binged on some unreal chocolate. I like the dark chocolate. Whatever.

00:33:20
But so it. Again, it's. It's not so bad. It's so good. Chewing on sawdust.

00:33:28
Pretzels are. I know. I. I have to say, I have to be like, pretzels and cream cheese. I don't mind.

00:33:32
I actually like a good pretzel. Have you ever. You've never tried a pretzels and cream cheese? First off, cream cheese is disgusting. Oh, I love cream.

00:33:43
How can you not? Okay, I don't like mayonnaise. I like cream cheese. Oh, mayonnaise makes. I don't like mayonnaise.

00:33:50
No mayo mayonnaise. No. What's the other? Miracle Whip? No.

00:33:55
Anyone's texture Mean, textures aren't friends. Yeah, but you like ketchup. Doesn't that have, like, a little bit of it? I guess that's not really a texture. So does my dog.

00:34:03
She's got. Now she has a pillow. She's got a Heinz pillow. Oh, for Father's Day, I got a ketchup shirt. Oh, nice.

00:34:12
And she's got a squeaky toy with ketchup. Ketchup. I mean, I guess ketchup doesn't have a texture, but cream cheese doesn't really have a texture.

00:34:23
Whatever. This is Again, this is like an attention deficit moment. Anyways, it was not a good snack. It was a pretzel. And.

00:34:32
But again, we were able to have a conversation about it. And I think so much of us, when we're lost in school and everyone's frustrated, it gets lost on the kid because the kid is not like, doesn't say, you know, this doesn't feel good, or this feels good, and. Because sometimes they don't even know. As you say, you're gonna. I know what you're gonna say.

00:34:50
Go ahead. No, no, it's. And a lot of times, if you're. If you're the parent that doesn't have one of the 5Ds, it seems. What they're saying seems very odd, different, stupid.

00:35:08
Like, what are you talking about? Right? But just take a second, ask a few more questions, because our brains are wired differently. So was. Did you think I was going to say that?

00:35:23
I liked it, actually. I liked how you said that. Yeah, no, that's very true. Ask more questions. I thought you were just.

00:35:28
I thought you're gonna shut it down or kind of shut it down. No, but it's so true. And it's just that conversation of letting your kid feel seen and heard, Hey, I know things are hard. We've had a lot of discussions about this. I know things are hard.

00:35:42
I want to be able to help you the best I can. Let's have a conversation and start when they're little, little, little, little, little kindergarten pre K. What are the things? Some of the things that you like. What are the things?

00:35:51
My kids actually, the other day were like, oh, my God, we remember. I used to do this thing. Happy, angry, sad and frustrated. So when the kids came home, I would say, what is one thing that made you happy today? What is one thing that made you frustrated?

00:36:07
So annoying. But when they were little, they used to do it and they. Now they laugh. They're like, the only reason why you did is because you wanted us to ask you, right? I was like, no, I didn't.

00:36:18
I think it's funny that they say that now. I really did. I know that they're like, yeah, that's why you did that. But as corny as it sounds, it actually gave me a lot of insight in different things. And then, then it was shut down.

00:36:30
Then it was like, you know, that I. I think I got like a year, a good year of it, and then it was like. And my first thought was, you know, that hearing those words suck because I don't even know myself, right and half the time you forgot. Like, usually it's at the end of the day you get a little piece, but I would get tiny little pieces of things that I was like, like, okay, you know, and we go.

00:36:57
And a lot of, you know, we talk about this all the time. Is a lot of times we're still trying to figure all this out. Like we're 50 years old. We're still trying to figure out what that meant and what that made us feel. Right.

00:37:10
You know, it's, it's just so different tHahn anything else. Right. So at the end of the day, were exhausted. Yeah. No, so it's piecing their responses back, listening to, listening to what they say.

00:37:32
Because that, like you, like you said, can give you a lot of insight if they say the same thing, you know, two or three days in a row where they're trying to say the same thing. And it's almost like a little, you know, a massive 5,000 piece puzzle where you, you know, as odd as it might sound, you just might have to just, just listen. Yeah. And you get like a little, little sliver of something. As you said, they might say something.

00:37:56
Like a couple times, like, I remember Montgomery would say X, Y and Z, said, why do I, why does I scribble? Why am I, why do I scribble? And he would say it. And so I knew it was also bothering him. Right.

00:38:09
Like, I'd be like, okay, do you feel like you scribble? And he's like, well, my, I can't stand the lines. You know, this is when he was getting, you know, diagnosed with dysgraphia and he couldn't, I mean, he literally could not. And so, you know, we would have conversations about it, like, okay, well. And I don't even remember what I said, but whatever I said made him feel better.

00:38:28
Like, you know, it made. He'd be like, okay. And then he would skip off. And then, you know, I think I gave him words to say or whatever it was. And I know people are like, well, wouldn't you say?

00:38:40
I don't truly said tell him to offend. I know in my head I wanted to tell them to say that. I mean, yeah, there was a couple times where I like, well, just because, you know what, they're weird and so they're whatever.

00:38:53
What did you say about the one kid who's reading Kengari? But he's weird. Knew poor Penelope when she was born. She thought she was dyslexic. And she was like.

00:39:00
And she said his name. And I go, well, there's something wrong with him. You shouldn't be reading at that age. That's weird. Stay away from him.

00:39:07
Actually, we ended up being good friends with them. But he could read at 4. Like really? He was obviously brilliant and his parents were brilliant and. But he could read like almost like.

00:39:20
I think it was like a fourth grade level at like four. Like he was like, like one. Yes. And then all penalties. Working on SpaceX or somewhere.

00:39:32
Yeah. I don't know. He's so. Because it was in Connecticut. I don't know what he's doing.

00:39:36
Wow. Yeah. Really smart. Really, really smart. Not working.

00:39:41
Wow, that's. Yeah, it was crazy. And. But I said, well, you know, you know to that. So listen, I was reading at a grade four level in high school and he's reading at a grade four level at four.

00:39:50
Four. Right. Crazy. Right. But that's also.

00:39:56
I was just gonna say to you, no one asked you, hey, what do you like in school? Or what are you struggling? Like, this is the thing, like, I always would say gym, if anyone asks me, lunch. 100% recess. Right?

00:40:10
Recess. Yeah. That was my favorite. I hate it. I hate everything about school.

00:40:14
Yeah. So, like those little things, like you maybe there could have been insight. So all we're saying is just talk to your kids. If they're really like complaining this summer about certain things, just think about it. Like, think about you having to do something that you hate so much.

00:40:29
Like give them a little bit of a break. Give them a little bit of a break. Because you can right now, right during the school year. You can't. And you got your schedule.

00:40:39
This is, you know, this is the time. Yeah, it is. And don't forget LinkedIn. You can go to Brent Sopol and you can sign up for his newsletter. And then also you can go to the website sopalfoundation.org and if you put your email on there, we don't spam.

00:40:57
It's nothing like that. It's just some insight on different things that you might find interesting. THahnk you again for joining another episode of Warren Blind. I said worm, word blindness, dyslexia, exposed. And don't forget to like, rate, review and share.

00:41:13
You don't know who is in the summer or going into the summer. I know New York, we're not still going a couple weeks, except they're in finals. So like today. And that's. All of a sudden everything cHahnged.

00:41:25
I was like, wait, you need to be picked up? When I was like, oh, okay. No, hold on. We all need to talk and communicate. June 16th.

00:41:36
Imagine that. Crazy New York. Well, you know, 27th is the. Is the graduation prom, like the 25th or something here.

00:41:53
Like, there's some colleges, kids are home by May 15th. Yeah. Oh, in our summer community, we have all the summer people are here already. So, like, we're, like, booming. And our kids are like, like.

00:42:08
I mean, it's. It's very interesting. It's an interesting place to. You picked it. I know.

00:42:14
Shut up. Okay, like, rate, review and share. We'll see you for another episode.