Episode 180: Christina Flach - From Celebrity Makeup Artist to CEO and Mom of FiveDec 26, 2022
Christina Flach is a makeup artist and the CEO and founder of Pretty Girl Makeup. Her celebrity clientele includes Condoleezza Rice, Hilary Swank, Isiah Washington, Melissa McCarthy, Rita Moreno, Renee Zellweger, Tyler Florence and more. She has worked with high end brands such as Gucci and Louis Vuitton, has been featured in campaigns for Macy's, Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue , and Bloomingdales, and has been featured in magazines including Vogue, Time, People, and Elle. In addition, Christina also writes articles about the best tips, tricks, and hacks in makeup and is featured as a beauty expert on California Live on NBC.
In addition to her career, she is a devoted single mother of four, philanthropist, actively raising funds and awareness for Sepsis. She also started the Beau Friedman outdoor classroom at the Edna McGuire school in Mill Valley, California, raising money for the Baby Beau and Ken Flach educational funds at the Northern Light School in Oakland California.
Christina uses her platform to promote the importance of feeling beautiful from the inside out. She inspires women to be the best version of themselves and how to overcome life's greatest obstacles.
In this episode, you will learn the following:
- How Christina Flach's passion for makeup was sparked by her mother's battle with brain cancer.
- How Christina Flach has turned her passion for makeup into a celebrity makeup artist career and successful company.
- How Christina Flach balances her passion for makeup with her role as a mother of five and philanthropist.
You can find Christina on Instagram and her Personal and Business account, as well as her Personal and Business websites.
“It was just meant to be what I'm supposed to do. And I love it. I am not someone that can go work in a cubicle. I like going somewhere new. I love to travel. I love meeting new people and working with different teams, and I get to be creative."
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Welcome back to your next stop. This is Juliet Hahn. In this episode, I speak with Christina Flach. She is a celebrity makeup artist. She also is the CEO and founder of Pretty Girl Makeup.
In this episode, Christina and I really talk about her business, how she has a morning segment on and she does beauty expert pieces on California live on NBC. But also how it has been being a mother of five and how different things in her life have shaped her. Really important to her to talk about septus and bring awareness for that. Her husband, late husband, Ken Flack, died of septus. He was a champion tennis player.
And then she also has a fund for her son who died as an infant. The Baby Bow Fund. You can find those with the Northern Light School in Oakland, California. This conversation, we talk about so many different pivots and how people are brought into your life that shape you and how being a single mom at certain times has shaped her in a different way. You do not want to miss this.
Don't forget to check out Christina. You can find her really all over the social medias. Christina and it's flack. FL A-C-H pretty girl makeup. You can also find they have a website, Prettygirlmup.com.
You can also find them on Instagram. You can find Christina on Instagram, LinkedIn and then you can also find the Baby Bow Fund and the Ken Slack Fund through the Northern Light School. They are always open and welcome to donations. If you guys want to learn a little bit more, please go follow and check out and listen to this story. Again, it's something that's going to help you learn about different people and how they pivot in life.
Another thing, if you haven't heard, I mean, if you've been listening to my podcast, you should hear I have been teaching people how to share their story. I've been doing it for years, since I started this podcast. And now I'm really just talking about it because we are having so much fun. I help my clients be able to formulate their story. So whether you are a small business, an entrepreneur, if you are an influencer, a Michael influencer, and even if you are in the business world, in the corporate world, and you are going out to networking events, stories connect us.
And if you can't be able to share your story in a really riveting kind of way or a way that you're going to connect with your audience, whether if you are going on the podcast circuit or you're doing media or again you're going out to networking events. I help you take the pieces of your story and put them together, the ones that are going to connect deeper with people. Again, stories connect us. You might be sitting there thinking, I don't really have a great story. I have a small business, I want to get out on the podcast circuit to really be talking about it and spreading the awareness, spreading the word about what I'm doing.
But I don't know how to get my story out there. I don't know how to tell my story in 30 minutes increments versus an hour, increments versus 15 minutes. I can help you do all of that. So if you want and you're interested to learn more, you can email me at info at imJuliet hon.com, and I will offer you a 30 minutes free consultation to see if we work again. Listen to this episode.
Christina Flach, Celebrity Makeup Artist it is a really great story about all the different Pivots that Christina went through. And we'll see you guys for another episode of your Next Stop. Have you ever been listening to your favorite podcast and that moment comes up and you think, oh, my gosh, I need to share it? Well, now you can with picked cherries. What I love about picked cherries so much is that when I'm listening to my favorite podcast and that moment comes up that I want to share, I can take a Snippet, which is called the picked Cherry, and I can send that to my friends and family so they can get involved in the podcast that I love.
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Hello. Welcome back to your next stop. This is Juliet Hahn. You know, I say it every single time, but I can't help myself. I'm so excited to bring you another guest that has followed her passion and turned it into business.
So welcome. Christina Flach, founder of pretty Girl makeup. How are you? I'm great. How are you?
Thank you so much for having me. I was really looking forward to it today. I'm excited and I love stories, but I also love I know you're a mom. I love the stories for my listeners to really hear and dive in to what people are doing, what people do to follow their passion, how they do it. So I can't wait to kind of dive into this.
If you can give everyone a little bit background where you grew up, if you went to university, and then we'll kind of take the journey from there. Well, I am celebrity makeup artist, and I am the creator and founder of Pretty Girl Makeup. I am the beauty of Seat. I have a new title guest beauty expert on NBC, on California Live, which I'm super excited about. And I'm a mom of five.
I'm a philanthropist. I am a sexist awareness advocate. And that's all the different things I do. That's awesome. That's awesome.
So I'm a mom of five. I mean, I have to dive into that for a second. So I am one of five. I loved growing up in a big family. I loved it.
There's four girls, and then the youngest was a boy, and it just was so fun to always have, really. There was always chaos, constant. My kids are all pretty much grown up. I have one at home half the time, his dad and I share him. And so it's so weird to go from being, like, having all these kids to having no one around.
So it takes a little getting used to. It's so funny. I call my kids and text them every day and they're like, mom, get a life, we're good, we're raised. I'm like, My mom button doesn't just switch off because you don't live with me. Sorry.
Right. I have to ask you more about that because I have teenagers and I think my oldest will be going to college if that's what he chooses. Not this year, but next year. He wants to play soccer, so that is what he wants to do. But I think all the time I'm not going to be okay.
I'm going to be the mom that cries so hard when he leaves. Girl, I got to tell you, the first child I took to university, I took her to Parsons in New York, Fifth Avenue, and I cried so hard in front of her dorm, she like, told the driver, can you take her to get a baked good and a cup of tea and drop her at some store? So that was like and then the second one was at NYU. Is that weird? I have all these New York connections at NYU.
And I said, okay, well, walk me downstairs. And no, I heard what happened with Lawn in so no, I'm going to say goodbye here so you don't make a spectacle of yourself in front of the whole entire city of New York.
You think it would be better I take him to Occidental in Southern California. It was my son swoon my love. Okay. I dropped him and I'm like, Just come home. I'll home school you.
Okay? I can't home school anybody. I stopped homeschooling, like, fourth grade math. I can't do my last one when I dropped him. A poor guy.
I'm sure it's going to be another spectacle, but I don't know. And I love how you just kind of demonstrate that. Right. Because you're in California. So having two go to New York, that's like, far away.
No, then they went to London, both of them. I had one in London four years at Central St. Martin's, she's a fashion designer. And then Rose, who was at NYU at Tish Film School, studied abroad. So I had two kids in London at the same time.
And it was during that time that were there, like terrorist bombings or threats of it like every other day. Joyful town. We say, we want our kids to grow. Like, I don't want to be that mom that's like, no, you have to stay here. And then they become weird.
You don't want that. You want them to spread their wings. But it is so hard for us. And I remember when I went to school, I mean, it was like 40 minutes away. It wasn't even far.
And I remember my whole family came, even my sister and her boyfriend, and we sat in our dorm, and all of us cried. And then my roommate walked in, and I didn't know her. She thought we were so weird. Like, she later said she's like, I literally left and was like, those are the weirdest people. Because she's like, my parents just dropped me off and was like, Bye.
She's like, literally, all of you were like, Totally. We all sat there crying. I mean, it was so crazy. But I'm hoping I mean, I know my kids already know I'm going to do that, so I would love it's fine, right? I mean, it's who we are.
If you didn't cry, they'd be like, oh, they judge you. You get judged either way. That's so true. You get judged for everything. I'm doing the Advent calendar right now, and they have a comment for everything.
And I literally said this morning, I was like, okay, yesterday you had a comment. Today you had a comment. I am trying, right? And you know what? And if you're going to keep doing that, I'm not going to put anything in, and I'm okay with that.
I won't put anything you're going to open, and it's going to be bare, so be nice. They don't understand all we do to put effort into making the holiday special. My house is like, I'm here by myself pretty much all the time. And you would have thought Santa just dumped on the little little Russian Christmas fairy stuffed in here. And I was decorating my house.
Every room has stuff. Oh, my God, I love that. But it's good. It is. So I want to get into how you got into this whole makeup, celebrity makeup, and then how you created your company.
So take us a little through that journey. Well, I started doing makeup on any face I could find when I was young, including my mother, who had stage four brain cancer. So I worked on her. One day, she was going on a date with my dad, and it was so great because she didn't have much makeup, and I had pretty few skills at the time. But it was amazing that I transformed her into feeling like her old self.
And so that's still to this day, something so special that I love of my job is being able to make people feel like the best versions of themselves. I love that. And I'm so sorry that you had to go through watching your mom suffer with brain cancer. Do you think that that's what started your whole love for makeup and knowing, like, okay, I can make her feel better by kind of transforming? Yes, I do.
It was just meant to be what I'm supposed to do. And I love it. I am not someone that can go work in a cubicle. I like I'm kind of a gypsy. I like going somewhere new.
I love to travel. I love meeting new people and working with different teams, and I get to be creative. But then on the days that I'm not on set, like today, I'm in my office working on my company, and I like that, too, because being on set is exhausting. In fact, yesterday we did a shoot, my partner and I and my assistant Sophia, yesterday, we were shooting a video for a pretty girl, and it was probably like 5 hours. And I got to tell you, I'm so tired.
It sounds crazy, but it is really draining being, like, on for that much time and focusing and saying these lines and trying to sound relatively intelligent. No, it's true, and it's funny because even if it's your personality, I mean, you seem like you're an outgoing person. You like to be. As you said, you like to meet people. That's how I am.
I love to travel and meet people and hear different people's stories because as I say on this podcast, all the time, stories connect us. But it is a different energy that you have to bring to be doing it all the time. I know when I do my Super Bowl events that last year, I remember the adrenaline. I didn't get to, like, a great night's sleep. The adrenaline was so crazy.
And then when I came home from four days of doing that, I think I slept for like two days. I was like, oh, my gosh. I didn't realize how tired I was. It really SAPS your energy to be on all the time. And I am outgoing, but then I'm kind of an introvert because I'm pretty private.
I'm not out and about. I have my guy that I've had for almost over three years. We're total home bodies. We were home watching Yellowstone yesterday, and we're not out and about, so we're not a lot of fun. I look like I'm fine, but I'm not.
I say that about myself sometimes. I used to be fun. I have to say, I used to be fun, and now as I'm older, I'm not as fun. But so I would love to know a little bit more, though, about so you started your journey, your passion, your love for makeup through your mom. And then how did it kind of go to where you started creating your own makeup line, or did the celebrity makeup artist come first?
If you can tell us through that journey and how both of those evolved. Okay, so I worked on my mom, worked on my friends, worked on my cousins, and he faced and then I started doing weddings, and then photographers saw my work. And then I started working with photographers. And then, miraculously, I had a portfolio and I submitted it, and I was signed with Ford New York, but they were in San Francisco at the time. And funny enough, I'm back with Ford now after all these years.
So I have three agents right now that book Meet Jobs.
It took a while to get a celebrity and honestly, I can't remember who my first one was, which is so bad, I should know, but I love them all. They're all special to me. But I started working in I worked with Gucci Louis Vuitton in San Francisco and then I work with the Food Network. My long term client is Tyler Florence. He's a celebrity chef on the Food Network.
And so I've had him for over 16 years and we just TV show. He's doing a new podcast. We did a shoot with William Snella that came out this month. So he's my main guy, but I have other ones. I did Rita Moreno this year for People magazine and the new CEO of Instacart.
It's so funny. I have had a really remarkable year and then now that I'm doing being a beauty expert on NBC, I don't even know how that happened. My friend Berlin Fisher asked me to do that with him. He's a hair person and he's on as well. And now he's one of the hosts and now I'm kind of doing what he did.
And so we did asking for Halloween, we did an event for fall. I just did one last week for skincare for the winter and winter and makeup for the holidays because everyone is so, oh, let's do the bright red Chanel lip and the smoky eye. So I decided to do something totally different. We did a lot of gold, warm colors and a beautiful shimmery gold lip. So I just want to try and do things a little differently and make people look and feel like the best versions of themselves.
I don't feel that. I feel like with fashion and beauty, it's not something that everyone loves the trends and the styles that are happening, but you really need to know what looks best on you. Not every trend is going to look good on you. So you need to know yourself and watch the trends and the hacks and the tricks. They're super fun.
But make yourself look and feel like the best version of you. You don't want to walk in. If you look at my [email protected], you'll see like you don't really see makeup. You just see like a pretty fresh face with nice skin. And that's what I try to make people look like.
And part of my job is making people feel good so when they're in front of the camera, they can shine. And probably because I've had 1000 children, I can read people pretty quickly. I know if they want quiet, if they want to talk, if they need cup tea, I use aromatherapy oils to massage their hand, get them going. And when I get someone like a Condoleeza Rice in my chair, and I get to sit and chat with her for an hour all to myself. I mean, that's a pretty good gift with purchase of a job, I have to say.
No, it's beautiful. And I do in the beginning of this episode, everyone I share with where they can follow you. But if you guys are sitting there listening and being like, wait, I do want to know. You can find Christina Flach. Really?
She's everywhere. So you can go to her website, Christina Flach, and that's L-A-C-H. You can also go to prettygirlmakeup.com. You can find Christina on Instagram at Christina Flach makeup. You can also find Pretty Girl makeup, and then you can find Christina, really on any of the socials.
But your website is really the best place they can find you and then follow anything else that you're doing. Yes. And you can see the videos on the home page of the current things that we've done. My assistant Sophia is amazing, and she keeps everything up to date, and I don't know what I would do without her. Sounds like I have so many assistants, but they each have Maya kind of books, all my interviews, and Sophia takes care of everything else, so I'm very grateful for them.
What is it always the people that we surround ourselves around that kind of also help kind of uplift and then help us get everything together. I mean, it's really important to have a team to be able to do that. So, one of the things that I love that you said is that trends are not for everyone. And it's so true. There's even the fashion trends that people will do, and some body types just don't handle it well.
So it's so important to know what you're comfortable in and what looks good on your skin tone versus your hair color. Some people with the red really don't match, sometimes even their personalities. So there's so many different things that go in there, I have to say, because I know in the beginning, you said you love to connect with people. You love to meet people. So when you have someone in your chair, whether it doesn't matter who, it doesn't matter if it's someone that's a no name or someone that's a celebrity.
But what do you think is your favorite aspect? Is it getting to know the person as you're doing the makeup, or is it more just kind of transforming them with the makeup, or do you kind of enjoy both? I mean, do you enjoy just getting to know them and doing the makeup at the same time or when you approach them? What is it? It's a combination.
I love doing both, even to myself. I like, look at a face and I can transform it looking like the best version of themselves. But I love meeting people, and everyone has a story, and they don't need to be famous at all. I mean, some of the most interesting stories I have are just normal people. I had an amazing teenager this year that I had the opportunity to work with.
Her name is Ivy, and she's amazing. And she came to learn to do some makeup tricks, and she was about she's 15, and it was so interesting because I, you know, I showed her just some age appropriate makeup and how to pick a foundation so it's not too di, not too dark. And two weeks after she sent me a note and she said, I felt so good about myself, I applied for a study abroad program, and I am going to Broad for two weeks to study art. And you inspired me to dream big and go for my dreams. And I just thought, wow.
The fact that I inspire anyone is remarkable. To hear a teenager that she said, I think that's a beautiful thing in any human is confidence. When someone is confident and feels good about themselves, they're always going to appear more attractive. It's just a fact. And I don't see anything wrong with looking like the best version of you.
I don't find it to be superficial. I think everyone is visual, and I think it's not superficial. It's more of a visual thing. We all like to be surrounded by beautiful, pretty things. And that's why kind of when I say about the makeup, I don't want it to be distracting.
I don't want really to like, when you look at a face, go, oh, wow. What? The color is wrong. You just think like, wow, they're attractive. But when someone is happy and they have a full heart of love and they're confident, that's really what shines on camera, I think.
No, I think that's so true. And I love that story about Ivy. I think that's such a beautiful story. So as you're sitting down, doing the makeup and doing what you're doing, the weddings and all this, is that where Pretty Girl makeup came about? If you can tell us a little bit of how you decided to discover that.
Well, Pretty Girl came about because I was a mother, obviously, with all these kids, and I was in a constant battle with my lip gloss and water bottle. I am always like, oh, I have a whole rule. Like, if you get in the car, you have to have a water bottle. So it was constant battle, and I couldn't find one that would stay on long enough that wasn't dehydrating and matte and sticky. So I thought, oh, it can't be that hard.
I'll bet my own ignorance is so protective and blissful. And my friend Tyler Flores always said, thank God that we don't know how hard it is to be exceptional, because no one would do exactly what I'm saying. Right. So true. So I worked with the beauty chemist for over a year.
I was self funded, and I wanted all my friends and family to look good with my colors. So it took quite a long time to formulate the texture and then formulate the colors, and it definitely took a lot longer than I had anticipated. But this is what I encourage all other entrepreneurs to do. Sometimes you're in a job, a corporate job, and you don't like it, and you want to have something more fulfilling and creative. You can do both.
Maybe you don't need to quit your full time job. We need to eat. I wasn't able to do that. And you start doing something on the side or on the weekends after work, and then hopefully one day you can transfer to doing the job that you love doing, that you're inspired every day when you wake up excited to like, yeah, I can't wait to start my day next week. I'm working with iHeartRadio with Chris Harrison from The Bachelor, and I can't wait.
It'll be fun. And I have Tyler. We have stuff going on and different beauty things. So I think that I've always said to my children, figure out what you love doing so much that you wouldn't care if you weren't getting paid, but then figure out how to get paid, and then figure out where you want to be. Like, I want to be everywhere.
So I don't have one city that I just go wherever my agents send me or whatever projects coming up. I was in Denver not too long ago working on with Fox for a documentary with Casey McDonald on the Denver Airport conspiracy theories. It was fascinating. So that's what's fun. I get to go to places and be with people and find out interesting things that I would have no idea about.
So it's really fun. I love that I say this on this podcast all the time. Sometimes I think it's more important to find out what you don't want to do versus what you want to do. And young people, you have five kids, so you understand that. My son is a junior right now, and he's like, all my teachers keep asking me.
He's like, what do I want to study in college? He's like, I don't know if I know. And I'm like, Honey, you shouldn't know right now. You know, it's not even a fair question. I would be more asking, what are you thinking about right now that you love doing?
That's a lot of for a kid. Like, what do you want to do in college? Well, how the hell do you know? You go to college to take other classes and find different things and meet people and experience things. I don't think it's a fair question to put on a teenager.
I really don't. I think there's so much out there to learn and do, and I also feel that I've been asked so many times, aren't you afraid to fail? Well, I fail all the time.
It's not failing if you're trying. Failure, to me, is stuck in a relationship or in a job or in a home or in whatever that you don't like, that is a failure. Me trying I don't look at these bumps as failures. I look at them as a lesson. Oh, okay, I learned that that's not the right way.
Okay, I'm going to move around that way. We'll do something different. And so if you can know that there's no such thing as a failure. My friend Berlin Fisher, that got me to do this job, this lovely thing with NBC, I was terrified. I'm a makeup artist.
I like being behind the camera. And even these podcasts, I, you know, terrified me before. I mean, now I'm much more comfortable. But at the beginning I was like, oh. And so he taught me like kids.
He said, we're going to do this thing for, for Halloween and we're going to dress that. We're going to make each other up and do this whole thing. I'm like, I can't do that. He's like, girl, you need to learn to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And I'm like, it was really the best advice he gave me because now when I know that I'm uncomfortable, I'm just starting to settle into being comfortable with this uncomfortable feeling.
It's not bad. It can be exciting, but it's definitely a mindset you have to figure out. It's an exciting thing. Don't look at it as a failure or something bad. It's new and it's exciting.
And if you can keep it in mind, in perspective, that way it's not so terrifying. No, it's so true. And really, I love what you said. I know my listeners right now are laughing because they're like, wait, is that Juliet or Christina talking? Because this is exactly what I talk about all the time.
Same tribes. We're from the same tribe. We are from the same tribe. And your assistants did a great job by finding me because this is exactly what I talk about because it's so important. And this is my passion, is that you can't be afraid of doing like you can be nervous, right?
We're nervous about every like when you're going into something, if you're not nervous, then you should double check yourself because you want to be challenged, you want to grow. It doesn't matter what age you are. You want to take risks and do things that are going to light you up because why you have one life, why just go through life skating through and not being nervous, excited, terrified. Those are the times that I get that is living. And I think the people that age gracefully and happily are still in their eighty s and ninety s, following their passion.
I don't believe in retiring. What does that even mean? Like, I'm going to stop doing things, other things, and I think also keeping things fresh, like I raise money for education and nutrition are super important to me. And I have started. Educational funds at the Northern Light School for my son Beau and my husband, Ken Black that have passed away because I want underprivileged children to have the same kind of education my kids have had.
And my friend Lisa Zimmer and I started an outdoor classroom and garden at the Edin Maguire School in Mill Valley for my son Bo that passed away this Christmas Day 16 years ago. And one of the things that I'm so incredibly proud of, of my children, is that with the Northern Light School, that is like our family's thing that we do, that our philanthropy that we like doing. They have all participated in helping out at the school, whether it be a teddy bear of tea or a golf tournament that Vita Blue puts on every year to raise money for the educational funds. My son Ben, both Twin, this past October raised $60,000 for the educational funds and for a 16 year old boy to get up in front of. He's been doing it for six or seven years now, and he gets up in front of all these 200 golfers and says, I have it videoed.
And it's, like, fills me up. I'm so honored to be here. I'm happy to help that I can be a part of this. And just to hear a 16 year old boy say that and go out there and be kind of like everyone looking at you, it's a lot. And he does it so gracefully every year.
And I marvel at him, and I just feel that instead of talking the talk like, oh, you should help people, you should help people. Well, he actually does. And he sees what I do and my other children do, and I hope and I think that they will do it the rest of their lives, whether it be at this school or other charities that mean a lot to them. But I feel that my husband was the number one doubles tennis player in the world, and we got a lot of amazing perks of going to Wimbledon, US open, doing different Davis Cup. You don't just get those perks without giving back.
I think it's just morally wrong. And so if, because of the platform, he passed away from sepsis and they contacted me and asked if I'd be willing to raise awareness for sepsis after he died, and I said, yes, I would do that because it helps me. Everyone has a story of difficult bumps in the road and sadness, but it helped me to help other people to not go through this. And I know I have thousands and thousands of people have heard my interviews, and I hear from people all the time telling me that they heard an interview and heard about those signs of sepsis and their loved one didn't die. So I think it's so important to give back in my little way, right?
And I was going to touch on this, so I'm so glad that you brought this up when you've had tragedy in your life, it is a moment in your life and yes, you can always mourn that tragedy, but it doesn't define you. And I think a lot of people need to hear that because especially everything that people have gone through with COVID and the way the world has changed, a lot of times we get stuck in these moments and you get stuck and you don't know how to take to get yourself out of it. So the fact that you took a tragic moment and moments in your life and said, I'm going to give back because I want to help other people be able to navigate this world a little bit more is so beautiful and inspiring. And that's where stories connect, right? Someone's going to listen to this and be like, oh, I love what Christina is doing.
I love that she started this makeup line out of something that she wanted to create. She has five kids that she's raised. And you've had death and tragedy, but you still get up and you still live because you're still here and you have a message that you want to get out to help other people navigate death and tragedy in a different way. So I think it's so beautiful that what you're showing your children that, yeah, we can go through hard times, but it doesn't define who we are. I think.
I was on this show, on the Doctor channel on Sirius Radio one time and I was waiting to get on and I was hearing her speak about someone saying, oh, we have this person on. She's had this most tragic life. And then she said my name and I nearly fainted. I'm like what? I'm going to respectfully disagree with you.
I do not have a tragic life. I've had tragedies, but I'm not tragic. Tragic is giving up, wallowing in misery and in a ball. So it's so weird how I started speaking about on these podcasts about sepsis and and and greeting and then it segued into grieving. And I was on a hike one day by myself up in the hills and I could hear my husband telling me how hard it is for him to look down on me crying and sad.
And I just thought, wow, I'm not honoring him by being miserable crying. I don't know why. As a culture, we feel that we need to be miserable, be a widow in in Black and just angry and not being able to love again and not have love in your heart. And I just thought the thing that I can do to honor my husband would be of course, he was very funny. He was kind of a Larry David's sense of humor.
Like, of course, every day be very miserable that he's not here, but also to do things to make the world a better place and to be happy and to be the best version of me. Because I want him. To look down and my son and my mom and all my other angels up there to look down on me with pride and happy for me that I am living my best. I don't need them looking down feeling sad and miserable. That's not fair because when I looked at it from that perspective, I thought, wow, how would I feel up there looking down on everyone miserable?
That would be terrible. And you can't comfort them. So honestly, the best thing we can do is to love and laugh and be happy. It doesn't mean we don't miss them. It doesn't mean anything, but it just means that it's important if you can what I do with my charities and is what I do, but it doesn't mean everyone else has to do.
You have to figure out how you want to honor your loved one or help the world be better. It's such a personal thing. Everyone I've learned this, everyone grieves differently, but it's there, so you might as well deal with it and try and find joy and happiness and love in life, right? And I think it's beautiful that you said you heard your husband, because it is one of those things. If you guys had such laughter in your life, then to see someone mourn.
I just had a guest on that wrote a memoir for her father that passed. It's called? Okay, little bird. And what she said is through comedy is how she really got through. Because her father and her had this, like, very funny thing she talks about even to when he was on his deathbed and what.
Her and her sister would find themselves in uncomfortable situations and then they would just laugh because they'd be like, oh, my God. Dad would be saying this and this. And it is important to obviously grieve. It's important to go through the process and be sad and angry in all the stages. But again, as you said, you're still young.
You still have so much life to live and so much to offer other people to show your kids. Yes, this has happened to me. However, I'm not going to let it define who I am, and I'm going to go through moments. However, I'm going to choose to show up this way each day. I also think if I'm miserable, it's going to affect my kids.
So I can't be constantly miserable. My well being, my whole everything is going to affect them. So I have to set a positive example of them. And here's the thing with grief. It's not like you go, okay, I'm over it.
You don't ever get over it. You learn to manage it. And I think that's the best way to describe grieving is there's going to be days that are harder than others, and I definitely have those. But I have learned to know that it's going to pass. Maybe I'm hungry.
Maybe I'm tired. Maybe I need some water. I need to go exercise. I need to think of things I'm grateful for. I know my triggers now, and I know that when I'm feeling all those, I'm like, okay, I have to kind of check in with myself.
And I've learned to self soothe. I've learned to buy myself flowers. When I'm sad, or if the day is just getting to be a little overwhelming, I'll go outside and go on a hike or I'll go work out or I'll go get my nails done or go shopping or whatever. That brings me a little bit of joy. So I think it's really important to know yourself.
My friend Diana Stobo is amazing, and she taught me one day I was just, like, beating the crap out of myself like we do sometimes. And she said, you would never treat anyone in the world the way you treat yourself. Be a little kinder to yourself. And that's true. We really do need to be kinder, self care.
We think it's selfish, like, oh, I'm going to go work out for an hour, or I'm going to do something that makes me feel good. It's actually not. I work with this energy healer, Diane in Canada, and she's taught me that self care. Like, I can't give an orange unless I have a bag of oranges to give. So if I've worked out and I'm rested and I feel good about myself, I am a better partner and mother and person because I'm able to have enough energy to give to everyone else.
And I do. I do so much to help everyone else. And I love that it makes me feel good. But it's so important. People ask all the time, what is your best beauty tip?
And guess what it is? It's free and it's sleep. We as a culture don't sleep enough. And sometimes getting enough sleep is so important. Meditation apps are really good to slow your brain down.
I do it every night before I go to bed and exercise. It's like, even if I'm on a shoot, I hear people say all the time, oh, I don't have enough time to work out. Well, look, if I can make the time, so could you. It's not always an hour. Yesterday I was on the treadmill and the elliptical for 40 minutes, and some days it's an hour power yoga class or Pilates or a hike, but it's more consistency.
It's fine to go five or ten minutes, go do a quick brisk walk, do some sit ups and push up stretch of it. It's just doing something every day. And to me, when people are traveling, they say they can't be consistent with their workout or dietary their diet, and I disagree. I have actually more time. When I was traveling with Tyler for the show, I didn't have a house to clean or kids to drive around.
There's no excuse. All I have to do is take care of him and work out and eat well. That was it. And so every city I would go to, there's different yoga classes. I would go take a yoga class once or twice a day because I had the time or work out in the gym.
And it's just doing a little something. And you feel so much better exercising. I mean, I do, at least I don't see how you can't. And I think your aging process is going to be a lot gentler when your body is when you work out. No, it's so true.
And you've said something a couple of times in this episode, and I do want to highlight it because I think it's so important. You've stated you have to know yourself what's best for you, and I think that's so important. I know for myself. Meditating. I don't meditate in the traditional way.
I call it daydreaming because I have to move. I can't just sit and be still and clear my mind. I am a mover. I have to go. So I walk my dogs, and that is my time that I decompress.
It's time where I daydream, I build businesses, I do whatever in my head. But I also know that if I'm on the water, if I'm on our boat or I'm near the beach, is when I can kind of take a breath and my brain stops a little. Have you tried the meditation apps? Have you tried any of them? I have.
I have tried them, and it's just I need to move. It's just one of those things that I've tried them so many times. If I sit, I think of all the things I have to do around the house or all the things I have to do. That's why I'm the same as you. I'm when's your birthday, by the way?
I'm christmas. Whoa.
Okay. I think, like, getting comfortable, being uncomfortable, that's one of the things I because I said the same thing. I'm like, I can't go to yoga. I can't. I need to move.
Well, that's exactly why I've had to learn to meditate. And, you know, started out with a five minute, a ten minute. I even do sometimes my meditation on a walk, but I just know at night, like, I have this weird thing I do. I will read until I'm, like, almost asleep, and then I push the meditation app, and I'm out. But I have had to learn that, and it was really uncomfortable for me to not move, because you and I, we move a lot, but that's something that's really uncomfortable to me, and it's helped me so much to get centered and just slow my head down, because at night, sometimes I'm sure you're the same.
My head's doing this, and it shut down, and I had to learn how to slow my brain down and shut it off. You can't rest. You can't rest your brain. Well, I have to say, I have gotten very good at when I sleep, when I go to bed, I'm out. My daughter right now, who's 13, were working with her because she's like, mom, my brain never shuts down.
So she's having some, like, insomnia issues. And I'm like, oh, that app would be great. I just said that's what I was going to ask you. What happened? I was going to say, I'll email you, but the app is what you use.
So I have two. I use Breeds for nighttime, and there's different ones. And these apps are fantastic. I actually should get sponsored by them, but they have one for, like, different age groups if you need to fall asleep. Harmonious love and relationships healing.
There's just a million different ones on the app, and I change them all the time, depending on where I am in my life. During the day, I listen to Jay. Shetty on the comma. Do you know who he is? Love him.
I listen to that. And then on the way, driving my kids to a golf tournament or to school, I put it on for seven minutes. And I know he can't run away with my youngest, right? I'm like, oh, well. But it's just hearing these things over and over, and I think it does nothing but positive.
But honestly, after my husband passed away and he was my sleeping pill, I had a really hard time sleeping. And so I started taking like the doctor gave me sleeping pills to fall asleep, and that wasn't working. And so then another friend of mine suggested these apps, and I'm like, I'm like how you're thinking right now. What a crock of crap. I couldn't believe how it totally turned my brain off and it put me out deeper and longer than a sleeping pill.
That's awesome. Yeah, well, and I think that's what's important. I think it's also like a mindset. And when I said I've tried apps and stuff like that, I have gotten in my older life very good at being like, okay, I know I have to do this. My older life in my 90s, when.
You'Re when we're old and we're doing this conversation again when we're 90, I'm going to go, remember back when you were, like, smoking hot and thought you were so old? No. Age is a number, by the way. Thank you. But age is a number.
But like, in my older in my midlife, I guess I'd say I know how to fall asleep. I was just actually talking to someone the other day because I was saying, my daughter, all of a sudden now she's going to middle school. She has to wake up way earlier. She is completely a night owl, so she is like someone that enjoys and kind of gets more alert at night. But I rub my feet, and it's something I guess I've always done.
I rub my feet, and I didn't realize it was pressure points. And I am out. And then I put myself in a boat. Literally, I put myself in a boat in my brain. I could feel the boat.
I rub my feet and I'm done, like, lavender oil. I do put on the bottoms of my feet, massage them for bed, and I'll put some on my stomach, and it just helps slow things down, too. I wish I would have known all this stuff when I was way younger and needed to sleep. I know you learned it now, and that's what's important. But I do want to touch.
And I know we're coming to the end of this, but I think it's something that important. You said that you wanted to show your kids that you can have tragedy in your life, but you can also prevail. And it brought me back to when my kids were little and my one son was three, and we had a pretty big death in our family, and we knew it was happening. So there was, like, a lot of days that I was crying up to it. I'm someone that's, like, emotional.
My kids can see me emotional. They know when I'm happy. They know when I'm sad. They know when I'm angry. I kind of wear everything on my sleeve.
I swear we're twin sisters. I love it. And so I remember the person passed and he came over to me and he said, mommy, are you going to cry forever? And I said yes. And I didn't realize he thought forever, like, that.
I was never going to stop crying. So I remember we went on with the day, and he came running over. It was probably a moment that I kind of stopped crying. And he came over and he said, Mommy, you're not crying. And I stopped in my tracks and said, oh, my gosh, honey, did you think that I was never going to be happy again and I was going to cry?
And he said yes. I asked you if you're going to cry forever, and you said yes. I said, I thought you meant and I'm going to have moments, I'm always going to have a moment where for my whole life, I might cry, but it's not going to be like this. And so I'm so sorry that you thought about that. And I just remember being like, wow, for like an hour, this poor child thought, this is my mom.
She's going to cry forever. What I'm saying, like, how we are really affects our kids. So it's kind of like if we're in a messed up relationship, whether it be a marriage or boyfriend girlfriend or whatever, and this is what you're showing your kids, is a relationship. So it is so important to keep your marriage or relationship intact and positive because your kids are going to emulate that. So if you're in a messed up marriage, guess what?
That's what your kids not that they're subconsciously, that's what they're going to do. So it is so important to set a good example in all aspects of your life, whether it be your relationships, your work. My kids, after Ken passed away, both of my daughters said something really interesting to me. My older daughter Melania had said to me, I was in my office and I was pissed off at everything. And I just like and she said, you know, mom, you have to be grateful for the eight years you had with Ken and not what you didn't have, because most people don't even get those eight years.
And I thought that really helped change the way I think about everything in life. Like, I'm really grateful I had him for eight years. And all the other my son Bo, that passed away four and a half months. Of course I miss them all the time. But to look at life and it's a choice.
Happiness is a choice. But if you can look at things from gratitude, like, even the things that we think are happening to us sometimes are happening for us. Not that those things were happening to me, but there is a miracle and a blessing in everything, and you have to see it and look for it and decide to accept it and to just not have love and laughter in your life. You're not doing anyone a favor. No one wants to be around that.
And I think a lot of the success I've had has to do with my attitude. I am positive. Not that I'm not negative sometimes, and I hate everything everyone else, but I really try to think, like, okay, let's think of some puzzles and thought. No one wants to be around anyone negative. And I'm sure that the opportunities I've had are a lot because of my attitude.
I work really hard. I do more than I need to do. If I'm on set, I will help the light guy or I'll do whatever needs to be done. We're a team. We have to all work together.
And I think my kids have all seen that. My daughter Rose had said to me, and I know I annoy her so much. We're so alive, I drive her crazy. But she said to me, you know, mom, your lectures on drugs and alcohol and work, hard work were just dumb. And I thought they were award winning.
After five kids, like, kidding. I should be getting an Academy Award for that. But she said, your example of hard work and being kind and loving and gracious to everyone is what we all see. And I thought, wow, I didn't even realize that our kids really do see everything that we do. So when we're texting on the phone or whatever it is we shouldn't be doing and telling our kids not to do it, doing it.
No, I love that. And I think it's so beautiful that Rose said that, because I have a feeling my kids, when they get older. I'm hoping that they say that my lectures are all stupid, but I do. They're always like, mom, what life lesson are you teaching us now?
I know. It's so interesting. I have a new daughter, actually. Her name is Jasmine, and she's my chosen daughter. And I met her on a photo shoot four months ago, and she is from China.
And we were just chatting, and it was so weird. I wasn't even supposed to be on the set, but I just did this shoot for no apparent reason. Well, I don't because I got my daughter. But she was telling I said, oh, is your family here? And she said, no, I came here to study university, and I sought asylum, and my biological parents are in the government, and I can never go back.
They'll throw me, and I'm like, oh, my gosh. So you have no family here at all? And she's like, no. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. And she's like she looked at me and she was like, did you be my mom?
I'm like, yeah, I'll be your mom. So now I have a new daughter. And it was so funny because my Rose had said to one of her friends, when one of her friends was having a problem with their parents, she said, oh, don't worry, my mom will adopt you. So now it's kind of a joke. Like, I actually have this, so I shouldn't say I have three daughters, and so this will be our first Christmas with Jazz.
And I love her to pieces. And it's so funny how she kind of is so meant to be in our family because she is an actress, but she also works for Apple. I'm so proud of mom.
But she plays golf. My kids are all golfers. She rides horses. I ride horses. It's like, you know, we don't know.
Just because I didn't birth her doesn't mean she wasn't meant to be my kids. Like, she's so meant to be my daughter. And, like, I love I just love her, and she's so cool. Like, my son Ben had a golf tournament. She came and watched because she doesn't have any other we're her family, and so how great that we get to love her and she gets to enjoy all of us too.
Oh, I love that. And what I think is so important, and this is what I think a lot of people miss out is getting to know other people, asking questions, meeting people, because those kind of opportunities, like your daughter, your new daughter, is because you asked questions. You opened yourself up to talk. And a lot of people don't open themselves up to meet new people, to ask questions, to connect through stories. And that's why I love what I do, because I get to talk to so many interesting people.
It'S so fun. It's such a blessing that we get to meet all these people. And I think, you know what's another thing that you haven't touched on but that you do really well is what we do is we listen, that we listen to people and are open to listening because a lot of people don't listen. They're not able to just be present and listen to someone else. It's so funny.
I have never had that experience before I met my daughter. And thank God I listened because I'm so grateful to have her, right? And it's true sometimes people think they listen, but I always say there's a difference between listening and hearing. Can I quote you? Please?
Hearing. But it's so true because people be like, no, I'm a good listener. But they really aren't. And another thing is, and I've gotten very good at it because of my podcast, but it was also something that God gave me. But I can see when someone gets excited about something, whether it's the slightest little movement in their body or the little bit of change in their voice, and I know that that's something to talk about.
I know that's a question to ask where some people when they're interviewing, they have their agenda, where I never have an agenda, it's just a conversation. And then I kind of dive into where the conversation goes because it's out of my curiosity, but it's also because I'm hearing the person I'm listening and hearing at the same time and sitting. There before it goes out. It's so funny. I've done thousands of these interviews.
Most of the people that interview me are amazing, like you. And just they listen, they hear, they know who I am, they will quote me. It's like the effort they put in is so remarkable. But I've had a few instances that it's so funny that these people have a podcast. I do this one in particular and I just remember this person spoke the whole time.
I said five words and I just thought, wow, you just have a podcast. We're yourself. You don't want to hear. It's such a shame because you're missing out on hearing and finding out all these amazing things from people all over the world that I'm sure that you interview. How exciting is that to hear?
Because again, everyone has a story, everyone. And it connects. And it connects. And that's the thing that's so important. People are going to listen to this podcast and there's so many different pieces of your journey in your life that they're going to connect with.
Whether it is the deaths that you've had in your family, whether it is the business that you started, whether it's going on TV and having the celebrities, whether it's your new daughter, whether it's horseback riding, whether it's golfing, whether it's your charity. So I would love to tell, where can people find your charity? Anyone to donate to my charity the Baby Beau Fund and the Ken Slack fund at the Northern Light School. And that's in Oakland, California. And a dollar would be helpful.
Anything. We're so grateful. And then the Edna McGuire school, the outdoor garden. It's called the Beau Fredman Outdoor classroom. So if anyone wants to donate to that, that would be fabulous.
I love it. If you want to find out more about sepsis, go to Sepsis.org and scroll down. There's a little timetable that says time and what time is. T is for temperature. You can be incredibly hot or cold.
I is for infection in something in your body, whether it be a cut or in my husband's case, it was bronchitis. It turned to pneumonia, and he wasn't seen and given the wrong medicine, so he became septic. M is for mental decline. It's a little hard to rouse them. They're just getting a little blurry.
And then E is for excruciating pain. Sepsis is an infection of the blood that attacks all your vital organs and shuts them down very quickly. It is not the common cold that you're like, oh, I'll go tomorrow if I don't feel better. No. If you have any of those signs, get to the emergency, tell them you think you might be septic, and get a blood test.
And then if you are, they will put you on an IV antibiotic, and you'll be saved. But there's a golden window of getting saved, and once you pass that golden window, it's over. My husband was a big, strong, professional athlete, and on Wednesday, we called the doctor. Thursday, he was on life support. By Monday, we took him off life support because all his organs had shut down.
So it is not something to play around with. It's super important to make sure that you aren't septic if you think you might be. Yeah. No, that's crazy. And also, in the beginning of each episode, I highlight all this, so you guys heard it twice.
If you were driving in the beginning and didn't get a chance to write it down, now you can do that. Christina, I just want to say thank you so much for joining your next stop. There's so much inspiration that you put out there, but so much love, and you can just feel the heart that you were given by God. I mean, you really can feel that heart. You're doing so many amazing things through the journey that you have gone through with life, but you're teaching people that it's important to see these signs, but it's also important to live life true to yourself, know who you are, and find what you love and continue to do that.
So thank you so much for joining your next stop. Much for having me so much fun. So, you guys, you know what to do, like share Rate Review you might be listening to this episode and saying, oh, that's such a cool story. Oh, this is stuff I can learn. But you don't know who in your life needs to hear this story.
You don't know who in your life needs to learn a little bit more about septic. You don't know who in your life right now would want to be donating to charities. You don't know who in your life is stuck that needs a little bit of inspiration. So this episode will help them with all of those. So don't forget to rate review, share and we will see you for another episode of Your Next Stop.
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My focus is entirely on helping you follow your passion, even when you feel like you've got stuck in crazy town. There is a way out, its me helping you. You don't have to ditch everything in your life that is making you feel overwhelmed and stuck, you just need some help to navigate it.
WHEN YOU FOLLOW YOUR PASSION YOU WILL NATURALLY ENRICH THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE